We have 365 days a year... and on the leap ones.. we got an extra day. Out of the 365 days, how many did you spend with your parents?

I used to work in Kuala Lumpur while mom and dad is in Ipoh which is about 2 hours away if we keep a constant pace while driving. When i first started working, i didn't have a car. Every month, when i get paid, i will gleefully buy my ticket to go home to see my parents. On some festive season, it was like a madrush to buy a ticket to go home. Sometimes we had to wait at the bus station for hours because the next available buses are all full.

When i finally have a car, the strain of payment for the car took a toll on my finances. *lol* Dang! Its such a vicious cycle. But i still try to make it home, happily sometimes alone... and paying lots for petrol and the dang toll. Then we car pooled to save some money. Usually i am always out of money when the month ends. But i still get to go home.

Then mom and dad said.. you are getting older. You better start saving some money and come back less. Coming home is wasting your money. How can coming home be wasting money?? I was always the rebel and the stubborn child. I still come home and you should see the big smiles on their faces each time we made it back home. Even though the mouth says no... but the heart is very happy to have us home.

Once we leave our nest and try and find our dreams, sometimes we forget our way home. At one point in my life, i reasoned with myself... if i go home to see mom and dad once a month... that means i only get to see them 12 times a year. And the 12 times is actually just the weekends. 12 times out of 365 days is unreasonably too little.

Then i forgot about my stupid reasoning... and started my yoga which falls on weekends. Dad always advise us to exercise and find some classes to attend. I loved my classes so much but i am always riddled by the guilt of not going home to see them. After a month, mom asked.. when is Anny coming home.

Mom passed away suddenly. She was still young. I always tell her that she still have many more years to go. I always think that i still have a lot of time with her. 2 months of stupid classes, and i didn't make it home.

After mom left us, i made up my mind and went back home to stay. I left my life in Kuala Lumpur, my job, my friends... and my freedom to roam. (whatever that is of my life). Now i am here with my papa and continue to make the best out of my time with him. We have our differences and brick-bats but i guess we have reached a balance. We are 3 generations of people.. papa, me and boy. We sure have a lot of differences in lifestyles... hahahaha

My heart still bears the guilt of the 2 months i didn't make it home to see my mom but what can i do now. We got to keep on living and do the best for the other parent. The reason we have parents is, we are given a 2nd chance. They have provided for us all through our life, sing us many lullabys and took care of us when we were sick. Make a trip home to see your mom and dad... if they are still around. Don't wait till they are gone and live your life with the what ifs.

In the end, when you have no loved ones by your side... it is the worst thing to happen to you. Cos all the riches in the world will not buy you happiness. And all the money in the world will not buy you friends. Loneliness makes the saddest person.

Goodnite folks! Take a break from your life and make it home.

Mum's last birthday with us.

8 woofs:

diyadeary said...

Owh dear...

kita tak tau kan bila benda nak jadi.. that usually happen..bila balik, nothing happen, but tak balik tula, suddenly thing happen..

erm.. diya skrg pon da macam anny.. every week balik ipoh, if not kinda homesick even da stay KL for 6 years! haha..

yes, I'm sooo mommy and dad's daughter!

Unknown said...

Bila benda nak jadi.. jadi jugak. We will never be prepared for anything.

I guess we all got to appreciate the people around us more. Diya kan anak baik.. hehe.. :) thanks for dropping by. Hope your friend Dee sembuh soon!

Anonymous said...

I felt so bad for not going home as often as I can too. The last time I saw Mom was Dec 2005, one and a half years later, she passed away so suddenly. I do ring them ever so often, hearing their voices makes me feel a bit better. I know spending time with your loved ones is so important. One is so wrapped up with one's life that we take things for granted. So, we should cherish what we have now and no regrets later on.
Anny, I miss Mom lots and wished I have at least one day with her. She never get the chance to meet her new grandson but I know she has blessed me with my son. Miss you all lots...xxx

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Another brilliant post... sebak I baca Anny. I apa cuba apply apa nasihat yang u bagi seme tu... never take peolpe for granted...sob sob

Anyway, last nite, I brought my parents to Cenileasure Mutiara Damansara to watch Talentime (another Yasmid Admad's masterpiece). They really enjoyed the show and me myself dah tgk dua kali! Hehe.. kalau u belum tgk.. I sarankan u pi lah tgk... not bad...lagu2 dlm movie tuh sedap2 balaka.. produced by Pete Teo!

Unknown said...

I think too many emo posts lately.. i dun think i have any nasihat for u guys cos i am with many flaws too.. just sharing a story with all.
Its great ur mom and dad are in KL and going for mobies too.. u mesti makan sepuas-puas ur masakan mak :) hope ur makcik getting better.
i blom tengok tu Talentime.. just waiting for weekend.. i love all her movies.. and Pete Teo too ;)

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Dah tgk Talentime Anny?

Unknown said...

Blom jugo.. hehe.. this weekend manyak activiti :)soon bro.. soon!

yoon see said...

Don't worry anny, you mum is very proud with you, the past happy memories can always make us a stronger person:)