(Excerpt from the book Why You Should Store Your Farts in a Jar by David Haviland)
The Black Death was one of the deadliest plagues in human history. Between 1348 and 1350 it killed around 1.5million people in Britain...
Since it was believed that the plague was caused by deathly vapors, it therefore made sense that other foul smells might help to ward off the disease. Some doctors therefore recommended keeping dirty goats inside the home, to create a therapeutic stink. Others suggested using another source of foul odors: our own farts. However rather than waste the precious pungencies, people were instead advised to store their farts in jars, which could then be opened and inhaled the next time the deadly pestilence appeared in the neighbourhood.
If anyone can find out how to store farts in jars, do tell me. Eat lotta lotta beans and store them. It could be such a nasty gift to prank someone especially with a label.. "Summer Scents in a Jar".
This is a really interesting funny book to read. Dommy was last seen grinning to himself while reading this book. If you have not read it, go out and get a copy :) And no... i was not paid or given a free copy to review.
Tuesdays are the only days i am up before the sun comes up. Usually i am up before the alarm goes off. Dommy will be fidgetting in his bed with a i need to pee i need to pee look. We out to the porch at 6am and he does his business and sniff some tires to check out who's been in our garden at night.
Then i wait for my helper from the village. She comes to help me clean the house. My hands are not very good around soaps n too much washing. Even though i pay her, i treat her like an aunt. She potters around and we chat and i help her lift some stuffs. She does an honest 2 hours of cleaning. She is a blessing to me.
I am quite the bin when it concerns food. On somedays, when my dad goes out with his friends for lunch or dinner, i'll entertain myself by being da bin. Yesterday i had all the below because my dad went out for lunch and dinner.
- 1 hard boiled egg
- 1 piece of egg toast
- 1 piece of leftover chinese peanut pancake
- 3 slices of bread with sliced ham and jam + cheese
- ABC soup
- a piece very nice fried chicken
- 2 pieces of orange jaffa cake
- 1/2 of a tiny mooncake
Jaffa cakes reminds me of Wilf. Don't know when this box appeared in our fridge. But these were chocolate coated and really soft and nice. I could eat the whole box but i will feel sick after that. Dommy didn't get to eat any of this and he's not talking to me now.
That's all for today. Back to work. I will remain tranquilo regarding work :) Do not worry Georgia.
Here's our lovers at the shelter. They are always together. Snuggling... and so in love. My two friends Garfield (the boy) and Panther (the girl).