Walking on

We are a bit on the lazy side here :) so we are just gonna share one of the pictures we are working on.

I got a lot and a lot of cat pictures in my folders... it is eating up all my disc space :D but i keep taking pictures of them. I am amazed by their ability to keep me trapped with their mew and mews. And they keep mewing to get me to buy them food too. They told me they don't pose for free.

Ahhhh well... its a win win situation.. i think. The cats get fed and i get tons of pictures without leaving my home. Its good practice too.

Now Dom is complaining i am spending too much time in the garden taking pictures of the cats when i should be on the floor rolling around with him. Hmmm...

Its been raining and rainy here in Malaysia. Its worse in Bangkok where its still flooded everywhere. Do hope the situation in Bangkok will get better soon.

Yesterday was All Soul's Day and also my mom's birthday. She would have been 69 yesterday. May her soul rest in peace.

It gets quieter on a weekday as my siblings are not able to come back for mass. I didn't attend mass too. I like to walk around the church and listen to the choir sing inside the church. I was hoping to catch a glimpse of my mom on the church grounds. Somehow i know she's near. I just didn't get to see her.

I like the peaceful place where mom's remains are kept by the side of the church. A lot of people came by to remember their departed loved ones. Some still cried. My eyes are dried after all these years but the heart still aches.

She remains a big part of my life and remain close in my heart. She was gentle, soft spoken and kind. She was built with all the good qualities of how a mommy should be.

Remembering with love because we miss her so.. still.

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from our sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind... 

-- William Wordsworth

Of Innocence

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A part of a poem Auguries of Innocence from Blake.

Would anyone like to help us understand that part of the poem?

Before We Go And See Billy

A series of thoughts.. hehhehee.. yea yea.. it will be a super long post since i have not been posting for quite a while. Brace yourself if you are/would be reading on :)

Firstly...

Congratulations to Bain and Myra. 

Their baby boy Ash came into this world on Mother's Day. I bet Bain will be a great 24/7 daddy and won't have much time to blog anymore. May you both enjoy your blessing. I am sure Ash will fill up all your hours and your days but the journey will be a wonderful one.

Mother's Day... i am late for my Mother's Day post but here's wishing all mommies out there a Wonderful Happy Mother's Day. Hope all of you have had a great one with your loved ones yesterday.

Oh... my godson the Mr Jaiboo bought me a pair of blue shoes for Mother's Day. It is a lovely blue and the kind of shoes that i usually am in. He sure have good taste considering that he's just 1+ *lol*

bluey from jaiboo

If i am never to be a mother in this life, i am still very much blessed with lotta children in my life. Even today i have a kid with me. I had to poke her face a couple of times to wake her up for school... hahhahahaa.. She is a very down to earth girl. Very well balanced and always friendly. Her mother has taught her well. I sent her off to school and picked up another kid... *LOL* My sister's kids are almost like my kids. They are always with me.

Boy went off to matriculation college today in another state. His parents and my father sent him off this morning. With a heavy heart, i said goodbye to him yesterday. He is almost like my son for three years. He tells me almost anything and everything. I have pampered him and given him whatever that i could give him without spoiling him too much. But he is always a good kid. Humble and never wasteful. He never asks for things but will secretly smile with joy when we get it for him. He's hardworking and quite shy. He's not quite ready for the world yet but he has to go out there and fend for himself one day. And the one day is now.. today.

From today, he has to do his own laundry, buy his own food.. wake up on his own (which i doubt he can) hahahahaa but i know he will survive and be a more independent person in a year from now. Sometimes when we keep them near to us, they will never grow up. They will always be dependent. They will fall and they will cry, but they will learn that love is always at home. They will learn to appreciate the ones at home more.

I remember my mom telling me, go.. go out and see the world. I went and was very happy to be free to do whatever i want for the first time. It was a joyous feeling at first. And slowly day by day, i miss my mom a lot. Each day, i'll collect all the coins so that i can call my mom on the payphone (we didn't have mobile phones back then). Sometimes i have to walk very far to find a payphone that work. Each time i hear her voice, i'll come back to my room and cry. Each month, i'll take the bus back to see her. What joyful weekends that were. Mom will cook all my favourite dishes.. and when Sunday comes, i'll have to leave again with a heavy heart.

I am sure Boy is tossing and turning in bed right now thinking about home. He has to share a room with three total strangers who will probably be his good buddies in a few weeks time. He'll learn to adapt and enjoy life in college. He'll also learn not to mix whites with dark colored clothes to wash... *LOL* He's a tough kid. Quiet on the outside but he quite strong on the inside.

In a few more days, my sister and i are taking my dad for holiday. We are going off to see Billy. This year is a year of travelling for my dad. This is his third holiday and its only May.. hahhahaa.. His brothers and sisters are almost envious of him. They haven't seen much of him this year.

He will be 70 soon. My father loves to travel. My mom, never like to travel. Everywhere we take her, she will tell us that it is the same. She only loves to be at home. But i am sure she will be with us in spirit when we take dad to his next holiday destination.

Dommy and Mr Piper will have to be checked into the pet "hotel". Hope they will have a wonderful time away from us and make some friends too while they are taking their break. Dom is like the extention of me. He tails me everywhere. When i go to the loo, he'll even get up from his snooze and get himself parked outside the toilet door. When i am working, he is parked right beside me. I should be quite thankful for such devoted companionship. And only a dog or a Dom could be that.

I'll end this post with a picture i took a few weeks back.

If you look closely, you will see a pair of tiny feet on top of an adult feet. My friend's son was so afraid of the sand getting in between his toes. It was his first time at the beach. He was standing on top of his mother's feet for quite a while before we finally coaxed him to come down. He only trusted his mother and his world was at his mother's feet. It also tells how grand a mother's love is.

Mother's love is deeper than ocean
Mother's lesson is bigger than the sky,
Mother's lap is more comfortable than the warm bed
Mother's tale is better than the best novel on this earth,
Mother's picture is more beautiful than a fascinating scenery
Mother's blessings are more powerful than the thousands of seas
Mother's shade is cooler than the shade of heavy laden trees,
Mother's light is brighter than the sun,
Mother's role is seventy times greater than the father,
Mother's place is more sacred than any shrine

A New Day

The first light of dawn
Dispels the darkest night.
There is always hope.
~ george j carroll

(haiku adapted from AuthorsDen.com)

Self-contained

An egg a day keeps the aches away
Two eggs a day keeps the aches at bay
Three eggs a day and the pains u slay
Four eggs a day and u go..hurrrrayyyyy!
Five eggs a day and in the ground u soon lay.
© Stormy

Its Mine

A smile melts a frozen heart
A smile breaks boundaries
A smile makes another smile
:)

Its Mine
If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.
~ author unknown

The Weight Of The World

The weight of the world
On my shoulders
Keep it a secret please
*Shush shush*
Add on to my shoulders

I must keep my mouth shut
A secret is a secret
Things that are kept in confidence
*Shush shush*
Add on to my shoulders

It gets heavier and heavier
Each day my shoulders dropped a few inch lower
I wish to tell
But i must not
At least not yet

Don't tell me too much
If i am to keep it to myself
I am tired and old
The weight of the world
On my shoulders.

The Song Of The Waves

Do you love the sound of the waves? Hypnotic? Calming?

I love the sound of the waves. When i get to the seaside, all i actually do is sit on the beach and listen. I can sit there the whole day and get a huge dark tan :) Sitting there whole nights work for me too... if i don't get washed away by the high tide.. hehehe

When you are really tense and stressed, best place to be is the seaside. Get some sand between those toes and some sun on yourself works wonders. Hopefully, i'll catch some waves soon during the coming holidays :)

Clouds and Waves

Mother, the folk who live up in the clouds call out to me
"We play from the time we wake till the day ends.
We play with the golden dawn, we play with the silver moon."
I ask, "But how am I to get up to you ?"
They answer, "Come to the edge of the earth, lift up yourhands to the sky, and you will be taken up into the clouds."
"My mother is waiting for me at home, "I say, "How can I leave her and come?"
Then they smile and float away.

But I know a nicer game than that, mother.
I shall be the cloud and you the moon.
I shall cover you with both my hands, and our house-top will be the blue sky.

The folk who live in the waves call out to me
"We sing from morning till night; on and on we travel and knownot where we pass."
I ask, "But how am I to join you?"
They tell me, "Come to the edge of the shore and stand with your eyes tight shut, and you will be carried out upon the waves."
I say, "My mother always wants me at home in the everything-how can I leave her and go?"
They smile, dance and pass by.

But I know a better game than that.
I will be the waves and you will be a strange shore.
I shall roll on and on and on, and break upon your lap with laughter.
And no one in the world will know where we both are.

~ Rabindranath Tagore

I wander’d lonely as a cloud

I wander’d lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch’d in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay;
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee;
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

(Daffodils by William Wordsworth)

Mornings from Bain

Beautiful Morning. Bain shared this with us today.
Thank you Bain. This is very beautiful. I am a fan of William Blake.

I didn't know you love poetry too. I don't write my own poetry but i love to find them and keep them. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.

And now we pay tribute to my HDR buddy :)

baincardin said...

This poetry reminds me of one of my poetry collection from : "World Poetry - An Anthology of Verse From Atiquity To Our Time" :)

and i would like to dedicate this simple poetry by William Blake (1757-1827),page 699, to Anny and to all bloggers yg singgah blog Anny sini ;)

MORNING
To find the Western Path
Right thro' the Gates of Wrath
I urge my way;
Sweet Mercy leads me on:
With soft repentant moan
I see the break of day.

The war of swords & spears
Melted by dewy tears
Exhales on high;
The Sun is freed from fears
And with soft grateful tears
Ascends the sky.

17 April, 2009 10:03

Only Perfect Moments

I look back over a bumpy road
A blackened sky
Learned a bit
Riding the bumps
Coming through the darkness
Seeking a few perfect moments
Giving thanks to the chaos for the gifts it brings.

Emotions can be a nuisance
But its nice when the work is done.

I remember
There are no perfect lives
Only perfect moments.

~ Catherine Fenwick

This is one of the poems i shared with my mom on one of her Mother's Day many years ago. She kept the card till she passed on. Now she is still keeping the card with her... in her new home.

When we get past the grieving period over our loved ones, it is good to remember the perfect moments. Especially on anniversaries, i would only like to celebrate her life and remember the happy times.

Remember not to look for perfect lives. We are all never will ever be perfect. We are born with flaws. The flaws are what make us all unique in our own ways.

Goodnite folks :) TGIF... YehooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOoooo

If tomatoes wanted to be melons

Something i read yesterday touched me. Read it a few more times till it sink in. It has not sank in completely yet :) but its too beautiful to be kept to myself.

Its a poem by Mitsuo Aida (translated by Tim Grant)

Because it has lived its life intensely
the parched grass still attracts the gaze of passers-by.
The flowers merely flower,
and they do this as well as they can.
The white lily, blooming unseen in the valley,
Does not need to explain itself to anyone;
It lives merely for beauty.
Men, however, cannot accept that 'merely'.

If tomatoes wanted to be melons,
they would look completely ridiculous.
I am always amazed
that so many people are concerned
with wanting to be what they are not;
what's the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

You don't always have to pretend to be strong,
there's no need to prove all the time that everything is going well.
you shouldn't be concerned about what other people are thinking,
cry if you need to,
its good to cry out all your tears
(because only then will you be able to smile again).

It is simple and very beautiful. It reminds us of the importance of innocence and to live for "now". Don't live in the past and the future.. but today.

I took this excerpt from Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River. Sometimes i read some books again after a few years time to understand it better. At different stages of our life, we grasp things differently.

Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

Lazee Sundays

Lazy day today. Rainy too. Sleeping was the most obvious thing to do when it rains. When i look at Dommy and PP... both snuggling comfortably in the beds... i did the same too. I can sleep as much as the doggies.. but they usually only sleep for 40 winks.

They both sleep in the same room with me. When i make the slightnest move... or turn in bed.. they both sit up... like its morning or its time to go for walks. Both with eager eyes... ready to go. But sometimes its 3am in the morning. So.. when i sleep... i try not to move too much.. hhahahahahhahaa.. crazy rite?

After sleeping for almost the whole day, now i am with a stuck nose. How did that happen? hehhehehee.. too much sleep i guess. *lol* How does a flu drop by when you get too much rest.. guess i better work more and sleep less... so i don't get sick ;)

Oh.. i got to share this poem.. its beautiful and from the other book i got.

Daily in the morning, this faithful dog,

silent, sits near me,

till I recognize him

with a touch.

At my little notice

his body erupts in waves, streams of joy.

~ Rabindranath Tagore, "Recovery 14"

Never Alone by Rodney Belcher

A friend dropped me this poem in my comment box.
Its too beautiful not to be shared.

Its written by Rodney Belcher in Loving Memory of Marie 1928-2000.

Never Alone
I feel you in the morning
When at first I awake
Your thought is with me
With each decision I make

You'd been around forever
Since the first breath I took
Now I have to go on alone
But for love, I need not look

Cause by what you bestowed
In our short time together
Will last in my heart
Forever and ever

Although you've left
And now walk above
I'm never alone
I'm wrapped in your love

Enjoy now your long waited reward
Feel peace that your love continues on
What was taught to me, will be taught to mine
Cause you live on in me even after you've gone.

The Power of the Dog by Rudyard Kipling

THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But...you've given your heart for a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart for the dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long--
So why in Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

~ Rudyard Kipling