A New Chapter... Perhaps

Its 2013. Just saw some fireworks far away from outside my sister's house... and i went YAY YAY YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY.. Fireworks always makes me happy. The simpliest of things that costs a bundle to burn that usually brings smiles to many.

A time to reflect on a year gone by... a year that went by too fast for me and too slow for the suffering and the sick.

Exactly a year ago at this same day, we were parked triple park on a busy highway.. watching fireworks with my closest friends. The same day that my closest friend show us a picture of the thing that screwed up her entire 2012. She's still with us... a bag of bones. Hardly even half of what she used to be. But she made it to 2013.

Because of her, i stopped and finally worked on what i liked and what i loved. I stopped worrying about what people would think and build up more courage to fight for myself. Its been quite a hard year for my colleagues to work with me because i did not gave in to silly beings anymore. I stopped keeping appearances with people that i don't want to see too. Its been a year of reflection and it is also my most fruitful year. A year of being able to use my skills and time to help others. Though i am not getting any richer in assets and $$$... my heart is finally full.

I've been away from home since 13th December. Been in Kuala Lumpur to be with Piper while his mommy and daddy took Grandpa to see Sarubobo. Days of spending time with just Piper and Dom and having conversations only with animals.. *LOL* Days of picking poo and still picking poo. Why do two dogs have so much to poo. Its been a good holiday so far.

Met up with one of my blogger friend again yesterday afternoon. Its been nice to see Nessa and her hubby again after one year. They have both had a very fruitful year... and both have become crazy running fanatics now. They are leading healthier lives. Both just grin non stop the whole time. Nessa has taught me that anything is possible if you work really hard at it.

One of the highlights of this trip is going for the Big Bad Wolf book sale. Every year i seem to miss it but finally made it this year with my niece. Bought a boxful of books which will keep me occupied for a whole year. I am a hoarder of books. :)

What would 2013 be like? I do not know yet... but i will work harder at being a better human. I got tons of ideas "ruining" my head. Purging it one by one would be a problem as i do not know where to start.

Its going to be a good year.

For the sick and the suffering, i wish for them less pain and a peaceful heart.
For the ones that have too much and am still not happy, kick yourself in the butt and get happy.

Time is a priceless commodity. Just make sure the moments count. Nothing else matters much.

I've been spending a few afternoons with my friend at the clinic while she is having her treatment. I do not know if this treatment will help her in any way as the cancer has gone too far. Each day i do not know what to expect when i see her. But knowing that the power of touch helps her in some way, that is the only thing i know how to do. I can only hold her hand and put on my calmest face and tell her its going to be alright. Her screams of pain when the needles go in, what do i know of her pain.

She tells me she is very scared. Her heart beats very fast. Her mind goes wild at night. She cannot sleep much. Her voice is almost like a whisper as she is breathless and too weak even to form some words. We manage to sign and understand each other.

Support for the dying is very important. They fear death and who doesn't. Even if i tell you i don't fear death, i would be telling you a very big lie. I will fear pain and i will fear being alone if i am dying and on death bed.

We begin to question God... why do you let someone be in so much pain? Why do you not take her home quick? Is it the burdens she has to bear for all that she has done. Forgive her sins and just take her home. And perhaps God will answer... so now you believe in me?

I am not a very religious person. I don't go to church to pray and neither do i go to the temple. I have conversations with the man up there sometimes in my mind. I feel overwhelmed in churches. The songs make me cry sometimes. Maybe my tears are just too much and they have no where to go.

We do not know what tomorrow brings but the sun will still shine and everything will be alright. A Happy New Year to all of you... and May the New Year brings with it loads of goodness to each and everyone of you. To my dearest friend Kristin and Pip... May the new year be kinder to you both. Hang in there lil Pip. I do not know when i'll get to all of your blogs... but slowly and surely i will. Thank you all for your friendship and your kind words.

P/S: This is a pictureless post as i am just too lazy to hook up the wires and download the pictures i took of Mr P and Dommy. Perhaps... on the next post.