Unconditional Acceptance

Today's been an out of sorts day. Every little thing seems to get to me. One of my fears became a reality. I know i should have trusted my guts. But i choose to be blind.

At my age, there's not so much rage anymore. There's hardly any point to over-analyze a situation. Its either you accept it or you move on. I still don't know where i stand now.

One of my friends from the office says that i am becoming Mother Mary because i tend to tolerate a lot of things. I've always ask her to look at the good side of things. Maybe.. just maybe the other person have their reasons for doing so. Sometimes when we don't have any good things to say, its best to keep our mouths shut.

This long weekend has been peaceful. I just keep hearing my dad sighing and sighing away. No one came home to see him. He just sighs :(

My father and my eldest sister, they both have the same tempers in this household. When they blowup, none of us dare to say anything. They both had a blowup... quite a big one over some minutely irrational things. Its all probably about pent-up frustrations too. And a mighty big blowup that was on our last trip in KL.

Since that day, both of them have not spoken to each other YET. That was probably like a month ago. *LOL* How long do you get to stay angry with someone. Especially if you are family. I guess both of them missed each other a lot and probably are not angry with each other anymore. I think both of them are too hard-headed to be the one to forgive first. No matter who is in the wrong. I still do not know what was it all about. So i sat on the fence. A mighty windy time i had on the fence for a whole month. Maybe they both just need an open window.

One of my closest friends confided in me that she wants to move on and stand on her own two feet for once. Wanting and doing it is a whole different ballgame. She's not sure if she can do it but she said she's tired of waiting for the other person to include her in his life. I am tired too.

Another friend confided that he's too tired of living in a web of lies. Sometimes he thought about taking his life and ending it all to gain peace. And how would dying help? Dying would be the coward's exit.

We may make a lot of mistakes in our lives. All the follies and fallouts and getting bruised is part and parcel of what make us better hopefully. Its important to know how to stand up and walk on ahead.

Sometimes i surprise myself at my level of acceptance when the truth prevails. At the end of the day, i do understand that not every little thing is about me.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me
~ Robert Frost