Today is Stephanie's birthday. She would have been 43 today.

I grew up with Stephanie, her sisters and mine. We were grandma's Seven Fairies. Everywhere we go, our uncles and aunts will call us the Seven Fairies. The other younger ones that came later... they never made it to Grandma's list of Seven Fairies.

Our houses were just a stone throw away. We share many laughter and happy times. When we grew older and i moved to Kuala Lumpur... we didn't spend much time anymore. I always regard her as "Tai Ka Che" meaning Big Sister. She was our Big Sister to all of us.

Sometimes i think in our haste to find ourselves, we forget about the ones at home. While finding our own goals and life, we all drifted apart.

When i came back after mom passed away, she tried to be Big Sister to me again. Me and my time management, i never did find the time to spend time with her. In my mind's eye... we still got a lifetime. She'll call me sometimes and said she is dropping food over. And sometimes she'll send me things that she has baked.

In our own hurried world, we never made time to chat. We took it for granted that we'll always have time when we are old and gray.

Her cancer came quick and vicious. Since the day she found out she had cancer, she only had 3 more months to live. And less than 3 months, she is gone.

I remember when i was away during the holidays to welcome Bebe J, i worried every night that i might not make it to see her again. When i landed, first thing sis did was take me to the hospital. She was lying there.. and she held my hand really tight. She wanted to see pictures of Bebe J. She was so happy she smiled and said she is auntie again.

Her last few days of battle, even in her very confused state of mind, she wrote notes to her children and her family. Her eyes open once in a while and when she could, she wrote many many notes. Her will to live was remarkable. She didn't want to die but it was her time to go. In her state of confusion on the last days, she still wrote that she saw me.

On her last day before she left us, i held her hands again. It was cold. I was praying hard and ask God to just take her home :(

She has lived a good life. She has seen many places and travelled far and wide. She is great mother and a wonderful wife.

Sometimes i wonder why some people would want to put an end to their lives when life throw them a curveball. When life is tough, keep on going and keep on moving. When things go wrong, try harder and find the light at the end. Live life to the fullest because we only get one life... so let's make it a fulfilled one.

Stephanie wanted to live but her time was up.

God Bless Your Soul Stephy and May You Rest In Peace.

10 woofs:

TH said...

my classmate's mom has got cancer and she know its costly so she never want the money spend and keep for the family. She passed away. :( she sacrifies herself for the family.

Anny said...

Tats very sad TH. There's always the General Hospitals and MAKNA. Cancer which is detected early is sometimes curable or contained.

thanks for dropping by TH :) Hope you are having fun with Dhruv & Shiveena :)

Anonymous said...

Stephanie, I miss you very much...I am really sad that I never get the chance to say goodbye...You would have been 43. However, you are not in pain anymore as you are in a better place. May your soul rest in peace...

Aki (kotakitam) said...

What a sad post.. I'm glad that you share this story to the world so that we all can learn something out of this...

I need to change. Maybe after this, Aki will go balik kampung at least once a month!

Miss my mom... miss my dad.. miss all my bros n sis.. and I miss my two little monkeys, Shasha and Nabil.

May your beloved Tai Ka Che will rest in peace and blessed with family and frens that miss her and love her so much...

Anny said...

So sorry to make you sad sis.. do not worry... she is resting in peace.

Anny said...

Yes Aki.. try to make it home to your loved ones once in a while... else we will be riddled with a lot of what ifs when things happen. Anyway.. hometown kan best. Masakan ibu best sekali kan :)

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Betul! Actually, last weekend my family stayed at my place for few days coz my dad got meeting at the HQ (KL). So Aki berpeluang lah rasa masakan my mom semula! Hehe... terubat sket rindu kan masakan mama... huhu..

Anny said...

Masakan ibu tu laaa yg best sekali. Nothing tops that. Lucky you!

Aki (kotakitam) said...

Exactly. But too bad coz now I jaga makan sket... So makan ala kadar je.. moderate intake.. Plus in July I akan jadi bestman for Bain.. so I have to look good! LOL!

Anny said...

Takyah laa jaga makan sangat.. makan kena makan jugo.. as long as its makanan bagus..
Looking good is all in the mind too ma fren.. if u feel good.. u will look good ;)
Charisma wud be a better trait to have :)

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