And when it rains...

Because of Georgia Lil Pea, i shall start blogging and bore all of you with very long boring blog posts again.

Blogger georgia little pea said...
Dear Anny, I'm pretty sure I saw a post on your dad on my GR yesterday or the day before. I didn't have time to read it because I was on my way to Brisbane. What happened? Did you delete it? Hope you're okay x
28 February, 2013 19:29

Blogger georgia little pea said...
ANNY, I'm feeling a bit twilight zone here. I don't see my comment, though you must have, because you wrote me. I guess you deleted it since it was Irrelevant to this post, which is fine.
I know I saw something else last night on my GR, in passing, and I don't see it here today. About your dad again. PLEASE! What is going on?! Am I nuts?
03 March, 2013 04:42

Thank you to The Typist for kicking my ass and getting me back to writing a very long post for you to read :) You've really thought i've conked right?

~ 19th Feb 2013
Here I am waiting for my train home. Another hour to burn. A macchiato maybe? Starbucks just 10 feet away. Starbucks is where we usually hang out for long catching up chats when i go to Kuala Lumpur. Hoity toity coffee. I could get a normal coffee for 1/10 of the price but we love to do the hoity toity coffee once in a while.

Its raining. The heavens weep. Or perhaps a good wash before they welcome another angel in their folds. She's on the way to Penang again for her final journey to the open seas.

She has finally left us. She passed away on Monday in her sleep. A peaceful death. I am glad. Glad.. happy.. that she does not need to suffer anymore. Her sufferings have finally ended.

Only her ashes came home to Kuala Lumpur in an urn for funeral rites. She was cremated in Penang and brought home on the day she passed away. Her father's wishes. He doesn't want the body to suffer anymore.

It is still Chinese New Year here in my country. CNY usually is about 15 days of celebration. Some people would not come for a funeral as its their beliefs. Some will fear bad luck if they visit a funeral during the CNY. Friends and family however will show up.

I have spent Monday in tears. I am all dried up yesterday. I know she would not want to see us cry. It will hurt her more to see us all in tears. I believe her spirit was with us that night. Even when we went out looking for vegetarian dishes for the prayer table. She was with us in the car directing us all the way like she always does. She was our human GPS. She knows the roads of Kuala Lumpur like the back of her hands.

Don't really know what the days ahead will be yet but I will try and make them remarkable. Time to mend some ties and its time to start keeping appearances with some people.

What makes her different from most of my friends? I have lots of friends but I choose to keep appearances with only a few.

I've known her for 20+ years. We practically spent most of our wild years doing nothing wild and have a good time. We have been through laughther, tears and mostly everything else. I was never angry with her.. not even once. I don't even remember both of us ever having a fight. She was like my soul sister. She trusts me with her secrets and I tell her most of mine. We know to call each other when we needed someone to talk to. We are always available for each other. Sometimes we spend hours and hours on the phone to catch up on lost time.

When she is sad, she always eats ice-cream. We've sat on kerbs outside 7-Eleven sharing a whole tub of ice-cream. It always makes her feel better.

3rd March 2013

She came into my life like instant coffee or instagram. She was instantly my friend. I liked her the first time we became friends. We had many adventures together doing stupid not too wild things. Usually we love to go on road trips and pig out. Sometimes with a whole bunch of people... and sometimes just the two of us when the rest didn't want to catch up. We could go anywhere together, and most of the time, she'll leave me alone to do my picture taking and sometimes she begged me to take her pictures. She doesn't understand why i rather take pictures of windows.. old buildings... or tiles.

I do have a lot of pictures of her. I am currently working on a photobook for her family. Her father misses her most. He could use some good memories of her. I don't know when i'll finish it. It is sometimes quite hard to do the photobook when my vision suddenly blurrs out when i remember how and when the picture was taken and what we did that day.

She has led quite an eventful life. She started working very hard when she left school. She started working 12 hr days and it went on to 16 hr days and sometimes at 12 midnight she'll call me and tell me that she's still waiting for materials to arrive. I do not know of anyone who has worked so hard from the beginning and never quite spend much on herself. She'll give and give it all away to her family... sometimes to friends and to whoever who asked. That's her.

Over the years, we have had other friends and other groups of people in our lives, but somehow we'll go back to this group of people we grew up with. She was with another close group of friends before she got sick. But somehow, she came back to us again. Somehow she was comfortable with us. We understand her from the beginning.

She only started being good to herself in the last three years. She started travelling abroad. She went from Dubai to London to Spain to the USA to Australia and to some Asian countries. She was finally happy and finally willing to spend some money on herself. I've always told her to go out there... spend some money. You have kept enough money, spend on yourself. Don't worry about taking care of other people, love yourself sometimes.

She's at the time of her life when she has made enough to lead a comfortable life but it has to be taken away from her in a most horrible way.

I knew her ending was near. I knew she was going to go. I sometimes pray that her ending will come fast and painless. There's no cure. It has gone too far. A miracle doesn't happen all the time.

We didn't make it for her last birthday. She managed to hold on till her birthday. Birthdays meant everything to her. She used to have a countdown... she'll have celebrations a few days before her birthday. All the way to her birthday. She was a Valentine girl.

Her family was with her. They did a recording of the birthday in the hospital. It was very sad to watch but she was happy that day. Very happy and she even manage to blow out the candles. 4 days after her birthday, she gave up. She passed away peacefully in her sleep with her sister sleeping beside her.

For the past 20+ years of my life... she has not missed texting or calling me at 12 midnight on each of my birthdays. Birthdays meant so much to her. She always try to make other people's birthdays special too.

Anybody can get cancer. Cancer cells are in all of us. It can happen anytime but being unhappy or being stressed could just bump up the speed more. Forgiveness is good. Being resentful or being angry over the littlest of things doesn't do any good to anyone.

I spend a day crying.. just sobbing away. Everything blurrs out. The tears just kept coming. Then i started stuffing myself with rice. I don't know why. That's how i deal with grieve. When mom passed away, i just kept eating and made sure everyone ate. Because life must go on no matter what.

We can blame everything on situations. We can blame it on other people. We can stop living and just keep crying day after day. We can stop working and just blame it on sadness. We can blame everyone and the death of a friend by not doing anything the whole day. But time will still tick and go on. We can take some time to grieve but life goes on in the most hardest way. It has to still go on.

I believe she is still with us in some moments of our lives. We carry her in our memories. I might not find such a wonderful friend again, but i still have Dom. He'll make sure i wake up and get up from bed. He'll make sure i eat and go for walks. He'll make sure to let me know i am loved.

I saw the tiniest orange butterfly in the kitchen the other day. I just hi to the butterfly and asked.. is it youuuuuuuuuuuuu. *LOL* Then i took its picture. A tiny grasshopper came to the kitchen yesterday while i was cooking. I asked again, is it youuuuuuuuuuuuuu again? Not very nice colors today. I assume the black and white bird in the garden is mum. I see it everywhere i go. My mom did mention to my nephew sometime back that when she passes, she wants to be a bird and just be free. It works and it keep and helps people like me move on.

My friend called herself Rain. It was from a very long time ago. Even before the South Korean singer named himself that. I had a good laugh over that and ask her why Rain?? She says its easy to remember and when it rains, people will think of me.

And now, when it rains, i will remember her.

Everywhere but here...

I am everywhere but here. I have put off writing a post here many times because i feel that if i write something, it will be soppy. Yes.. this is soppy.

Just want to purge it all out anyways and get it out of the way. Some of my sadness for these past few days.. weeks.. months. Its been almost a year. I used to walk with a skip like a kid.. i am happy most days of my life. Life is simple. I don't really ask for much. I lost my skip this year.

When i think of my good buddy, tears just fall when i think of how brave she still is. I can sit here working and tears just fall and i am so overwhelmed with sadness. I stopped keeping appearances everywhere except the shelter. I am at peace there.

My buddy is seeking treatment for her cancer in Bangkok. Even though the chances are very slim, we still push her to go. Its better than doing nothing and waiting at home to die. Two oncologists in Kuala Lumpur has given her the Stage 4 notice. Chemotherapy at this stage of cancer is probably more pain than anything else. Its not an option she wanted to go through with.

So off she went to Bangkok beginning of November. With just whatsapp to keep us in the loop, we can sense her sadness to be away from home and to be away from family. Either that or just wait at home to die. So we went to see her.

She went to see a very old doctor in his 90s in Bangkok. He treats a lot of cancer patients quite successfully. But when he saw my friend, he just told her... be happy. Don't do chemo anymore. He told her he could not help her.

She is a very stubborn person. To deny herself of treatment earlier when things could have worked out better is very stupid. She has her reasons and i still do not understand why she would allow herself to rot this way.

What i expected to see is way beyond what i thought it would be. Its a lot worse. It is even painful to look. Her breasts has rotted and pus and blood is leaking all the time. An open wound so bad that its shocking to someone like me.

We just hang out at the hotel when there's no treatment days. We cook.. eat and laughed and talked about stupid things as usual. If you looked at her, you would not think she has a very very bad sore on her. She looked perky and happy in front of us. A brave front as she always does in front of us. When the pain comes, the tears just flows. She doesn't scream or cry out loud. She just bears with it quietly.

The only places we went to in Bangkok is the supermarket, the 7-eleven and the pharmacy. We didn't really want to be anywhere else but to be with her. Putting on a happy face and smiling in front of her is quite hard. I finally broke down on the last night before we came home. I told her i would not cry in front of her but i did.

She is one of my best buddy through all my silly years. We did a lot of silly things.. dancing, singing, eating and just travelling. We also ate a lot of crabs together. She is my ever willing travel partner too. She never say no to any of my request to see or do things. That's how she is.

Her days are quite numbered. I know the end will be very painful and heartbreaking. I just want her to get home to her family and be happy on her days of grace. I wish for her less pain everyday.

When you have cancer at this late stage, everyone is expecting you to die soon. Even though you don't want to die yet, everyone is wondering when you will go. People taking care of you will wonder when you'll go too when they get too tired of taking care of you and meeting your demands. Its heartbreaking but that's how it is. People want to get on with their own lives.

Maybe she'll live a few years more or she might just outlive me. Who knows. Maybe the treatment she is doing now.. works for her. She'll get another few more years. Who knows.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

I have failed as a friend. Especially a good friend, i did not get her to help herself when she could. Now its probably too late.

A note to GLP's mommy: Thank you so much for the bonfim ribbons. She is carrying a blue one on her wrist now. I don't know if it will work but it did give her some hope. She made 3 wishes too. She has asked me to thank you.

Make hay while the sun shines

My boss told me that we have to make hay while the sun shines. Make Hay.. Make Hay he says. Usually he doesn't come up with such phrases. He's usually a yes.. no.. k... go ahead kinda guy. So i ask for some hay. That made him laugh but he did send me some hay.

Summer holidays are almost over but we didn't seem to have our lull period this year. We had Myanmar... and we have a lot of things to do with Myanmar.

With the extra hay, i sent my dad and nephew off to Krabi for a short holiday. A 20 and a 70+ year old man. What could possibly go wrong in Krabi? Its just a collection of islands. For starters.. they almost missed their flight as the checking in queue became too long when they spent too much time having lunch at McDs.. *LOL* But it went smoothly after that. They even got to go to Nosey Parker for elephant rides thru the jungle. My dad have never sat on an elephant before so he had a good time i think.

I had a great time when i was in Krabi with my lover urmm friend. We went on motorcycle rides without helmets and went everywhere without a care in the world. It was a very happy time and we almost missed our flight out too. We were staying 2 islands away from the airport and the ferry wait was horrendous. But Ko Lanta was beautiful. It was memorable to just be... there.

We (my siblings and i) sometimes become overly protective of my dad. I do not allow my dad to drive at night as his eyesight is not too great on one eye. I drive him to church on Saturdays. But other than that, i don't really do everything for him. Sometimes he just gets lazy and be with his ipad for many hours a day and keeps sighing and sighing.. he's bored.. hahahhahaha. When my mom was around, these two siamese twins will go everywhere together. If you see one, you'll see the other.

When we go on holidays, we would prefer that people do not call us. I didn't call them at all. If they are in trouble, they will call me. I am sometimes overly confident that they will be okay. On the other hand, my eldest sister insist on calling all the time. She even called me from Hong Kong Disneyland to complain about dad. *LOL* I told her to put down the damn phone and go enjoy Disney. Crazy.. yes.. i have quite a circus in the family.

I stay with my dad with Dommy and some strange cats at the porch. Boy comes back during his semester breaks. Its a strange arrangement but i seem to be the most convenient one to take care of my old man. Dad doesn't really need taking care of. He's usually up and about by 6.30am and off to meet his friends at the park. As long as he is happy (and just a tad bored), i guess we'll just keep on staying here till we find new adventures.

My mom passed away 5 years ago. I spent the first 3 years grieving and just blanked out. Each day i had to deal with a very angry dad who compares my cooking with mom's. He pushes so much that sometimes i just cry and cry at night. Most of the time i was just crying because i missed my mom. After 3 years i discovered the tv again. It became a place to just numb the weariness of the day away.

This year, i realised that i was watching too much tv and just not doing anything productive with myself. I do know how to do a lot of things but i don't do it because i am lazy. After one of those days when too much cat watching got me into trouble again with dad, i went to seek shelter.

I've always have a very close unit of friends and colleagues. I missed them all the time as they are in another town and state. My colleagues were like my sisters. The longest hours of my life used to be when i am in the office. We laughed and joked and did all the stupid things. We bitched too but when one is in trouble, we always get together to help out. When mom passed away, the whole group of them came all the way in a taxi to just see my mom and me. They being here with me touched me deeply.

I found my shelter in the arms of some furries. While i am not doing that much to help them, they have in turn helped me a lot by making me smile more and be happy. I made quite a lot of new friends too. Some old, some young and quite a funny mixture of people. I am practically the kid in the group.

On Sunday mornings, i sneak off to the shelter and help them take photographs of the shelter cats to post them on facebook. I've always loved how HeARTs Speak helps the shelters by using photos and art to effect social change. I am not as good as the photographers in HeARTs Speak but practise makes perfect. I'll get there some day.

A picture can speak a thousand words. A good picture of my furry friends can up their chances of getting adopted. Taking pictures of cats is quite easy as some of them loved to pose and they don't really move much. You just got to sit with them for a few hours.. play with them.. connect and you become part of them. Usually i shoot blind as i want to connect by looking at them... they look back and i get a good head shot. I've never really seen so many different types of cats in one place. They are so beautiful and each have their own special traits.

Usually i'll take a few hundred pictures on a Sunday and post their pictures on the days that follow till i get to Sunday again. They i go seek my shelter again. Sometimes its about me needing them more than they needed me. They helped me find my balance... somehow.

Some of the furries have become my friends and most of them will just wait their turn to jump on my lap. Its heartwarming and fulfilling. Some of them have been in the shelter for a long time. Our shelter in Ipoh is a no-kill shelter. That also means that we have to go the extra mile to get some adopted so that there will never be overcrowding.

I do not know if you'll be able to view this short movie above (which is a mighty big file). They are of some of my friends at the shelter.

On another note, i went to see my friend last weekend in Kuala Lumpur. She still have not decided to go for the mastectomy yet. She'll probably live longer than me perhaps or go out with a bang. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But its her life and if she chooses to go this way, we as friends will support her and try to be happy when we are with her. I would have liked to just club her and dragged her off to the hospital to get the tumour out but the laws do not allow me to do such foolish things. A person still has the right to choose how he/she wants to live.

We had a good weekend just laughing about stupid things. We talked about crap and crapping. Laughed about dumbness and how dumbness do not solve problems but it was a good weekend. Here's my friend again. Her hair has grown. Her short crop is quite nice. The other girl is my good buddy too. Can you see me... ? I'm the one in the middle with the camera *LOL*

My poor Dommy has been so patient with me and with my unfaithfulness. When i come back from the shelter, he's usually so happy he'll do leaps on his thin legs. Why we should always adopt and give a chance to older dogs/cats to have a forever home. Rescued dogs and cats will come with a history but most of them are grateful. They are grateful for a warm meal, a warm bed and someone to love.

When i was growing up with asthma, i was not allowed to touch or go near animals with furs. My dad still am afraid of me spending most of my time with Dom. Dom is furry.. hehehehehe He'll probably have a fit if he knows i am at the shelter with so many cats. Sometimes we are too afraid to die we forget to live.

Whatever we do, i guess the most important thing is making the moment count. Just be with the people and furries that makes you happy. Everyday is a bonus.

I cracked myself up...

Its been a while since a proper post came about (yes yes.. this is one of the mighty long winded post). Now seriously... did anyone think that i might have actually kapoots for real this time?

There is a blog on my list... the writer has passed on two years ago... but i still keep her blog on the list as she was such an inspiration to me.

Kapoots we have not. Given up blogging? hmmm.. we could have for a while there. But it got a tad too boring in the real world and i kinda missed some of you. Most of you.. All of you... :) Yes yes... that's a bit of sucking up there. Alright alright.. i miss alllllllllllllllllllllllll of you and i missed blogging.

I went thru a phase of soul-searching. Still searching. I cracked myself up too. Literally. I ate a lot of dairy stuffs.. which i can't because dairy somehow cracks me up. I binged on Mars bar and yogurts and all the yakults. It was a wonderful time to have a Mars bar every night till i finally cracked up. Then i had to stop. No more Mars bars for now. No more yogurts. No more chocolates. Until i am all patched up :)

As some of you might remember, i have a close buddy who's been diagnosed with 3rd stage breast cancer early this year. She has stopped her chemotherapy after the 5th one and refused to do it anymore. She had a terrible double dose on the 5th treatment and she finally gave up on chemotherapy. She didn't want to go through it anymore. We begged.. talked... advised.. cried.. but she just would not listen. One more session... just complete the course. But she refused.

Its been 2 months + now and she has not even had her operation to remove the lump on her breast. She requested for an extention of 6 months from her doctor. She did not want to have a mastectomy. She's having some holistic care and her hair has started to grow. She's taking quite a big gamble right now. Sometimes she just likes to prove to herself that she can be right about some things. Hopefully she'll have the op soon.

I believe a lot of people have survived breast cancer and lived many many more years by having a mastectomy and radiation after that. Losing a breast does not make you any less a woman.

This is my friend two months back

This is life. You can only do so much and everyone does have their right to make their own decisions about how they want to live. I sometimes wonder if i have done enough to help my friend.

I do not know how we got to July. Its just been breezy.. and the days and weeks just went by very quickly. I even forgot about Dom's birthday on the 29th June. Poor fella. Its a good thing he got a big box of gifts from Frankie and Ernie last month. More on that on the next post.

Dom's 10 years old. Still as silly as ever. He's due for the yearly prick and probe at the v-e-t soon. Hopefully them 'vampires' do not steal his blood this time.

If you want to know where to purchase the coooool 'hat' Dom has on... you have to ask Frankie and Ernie. 

I've also been sneaking off somewhere on some Sundays. A place where i can help and my heart is happy. We'll tell you more about that some day.  Till the next time.

Trying to Keep Up Appearances

19 days 40 days and nights into 2012 and we are still being lazy struggling here *LOL* We have a feeling that 2012 seems to be on a fast forward button somehow. Don't you think so? I think i started this post few weeks back and forgot all about it. Like how i forget that sometimes i have a blog and another blog and a few other blogs. *LOL* I was just a kidding about them many many blogs.

We have been very bad at keeping up appearances here and way over yonder too. We have run out of any valid excuses really :) Nothing much happening over our side of the world really... except for... urmmm... this is one of those loooooooooooooooooooooooong posts... i get a little long winded when its late at night.

The Curly is just sleeping quite a lot. Most of the time he is under the bed where its cooler.

Can you see Curly? I am sure there's a Curly there. Its dark but Curly.

Here... try again. Do you see a Curly? i know there's one. Send everyone a woof will ya Dommy.

WOOOOoooooOOOOOoooFF!!

Told ya there's a Curly there in the dark :)

The Chinese New Year "heat" has decended upon us in leaps and bundles and buckets and and and.... Its warm warm and very very warm every other day. We only had a wee bit of rain sometimes in the evenings. We sure hope some places don't start burning and send us their smokes. Last year we had it really bad. The heat and them smokes and everyone i know was trying to do a raindance.

Well.. Chinese New Year's over and out. We were on the road.. and with family for a whole week in Kuala Lumpur. My backpack is still on the floor from the last trip. We did a lot of gambling and some eating and lots of laugher. We are going to be on the road again in 2 weeks time when the Jaiboo comes home. He didn't make it home for Christmas. So he's rescheduled to February end. Its only February and we seem to be going up and down a lot lately.

When we were in Kuala Lumpur, we were at a new place where dogs can run freeeeeeeeeeeee. Dom was super excited and sniffing everywhere and anywhere. He had his walks without leashes and he was just trotting happily without all the pulling and tugging by me. I am a slow walker while he trots likes a horse. It was freedom for him and we had many many walks everyday. That's probably how we spend our Chinese New Year. He lost some flab and drank a lot of water and slept like a log each and every night. I however got a bit darker too from all the walks in the sun.

We were so free and happy that we didn't take any pictures. *LOL* Our hands were not holding any cameras or mobiles and we were just enjoying our time together. There was no internet and there was no reason to keep the computer on.

Dom made friends with a dotted dog. He's dotted like a dalmation but a lot shorter than one. He has perky ears and a very happy smile and a non-stop wagging tail. They played and jumped and played non-stop. Yes... i didn't have a camera or a mobile. A very friendly dog which was walking alone without a leash too. It was like probably how doggy heaven would be i suppose. Where the dogs run free and played all day. Maybe we'll see him again next time.

Now we are back to the grind. I am actually quite overloaded with work since January. With too many holidays overlapping over the weekends, i began to dread holidays. When you come back from a holiday and fire up your computer, the emails all just choked up. Its like a traffic jam in the email box. Don't we all hate traffic jams. And you get cc'ed in every other mail.

We got new systems from the office. Here's me trying to setup my new computer beside the old one. I kept clickling the wrong mouse :p I love new systems but i hate fine tuning it to what works for me. I hate to do the transfers and now that we work from home, we got to setup all the things ourselves. We used to be pampered by the IT guy. He usually does all the setup for us. We just shake our legs and grin. That's not really a good idea as we become too dependent on others to get the job done when we can do it ourselves.

When i work on the computer, i am usually very quiet. Even when i was working in the office. Sometimes i have discussions with a few of my colleagues on the chats or on a call with my colleagues. Sometimes its a typing marathon on the chats with my boss or my superiors. My dad will whizz pass my window. Then he will whizz back and ask me some questions. Then he'll go out and ask me a question from the hall which i can hardly hear. *LOL* My dad is lonely sometimes. He needs the attention. He probably thinks that i am on facebook or surfing the internet.

Working from home does not mean that i can run out and play all the time. I can run out with Dom to the garden for his breaktime. I can run out to hang the laundry and i can run out to get lunch. But I have people to answer to and i have people who ask me too many questions a day at work. Some of these questions are too silly as i believe that some people do not want to think. They want the easy way out of things and just ask you to give them the answer to solve the problem. Some are not problem solvers and some just need to be spoon fed year after year.

The year of the Dragon actually starts on 4th February 2012, the first day of the Chinese Solar. This day is also called Lap Chun meaning “beginning of spring” in Chinese. On Lap Chun day, eggs can stand on their own two feet the floor or table. Hence the many pictures of the eggs standing prettily up there. I didn't flip some of the pictures as i feel they look pretty awesome on the sides :D Its something to do with gravity and.. urmm... go google it yeh :)

This is the only picture of i took of Chinese New Year decorations. Its a lighted tree at the Curve, a shopping mall in Kuala Lumpur. I sneaked my friend out and took her to eat. We were walking up and down there and didn't know what to eat. In the end she told me... you know what i really really want to eat. I want to eat maggi mee. Maggi mee is instant noodles. It is something which she can eat at home but not allowed by her mom. It cooks in just two or three minutes.

Her mom has changed her diet completely. She's on a strict healthy juicing vegetarian diet. Since she started chemo, her whole eating regime is being managed by her family. She is a person who loves to eat. We always love to eat all the unhealthy things. But now, she has to follow the diet to save herself.

She went for her 2nd chemo last week. She has lost all her hair and her brother just shaved her head clean yesterday. She's still very postive but bored at home. She can't drive much now as she's on some oral chemo too. She told me that her whole world is spinning almost everyday. Dizzy especially after her chemo sessions. Even a few days after chemo, she is still holding her head in her hands.

4 more chemo sessions to go and hopefully they can do the surgery and radiotherapy after that. Still a long way to go but we are very hopeful and she is still fighting on. A fighter. I am proud of her. And yes, we went to the shops and i let her eat her Maggi mee. She is now waiting for me to come down again to take her to eat Maggi mee again. If her mom knows, i am dead.

These two hardly sleep so close together. Dom needs to be constantly near me or he needs to be within eye view of me. Piper does not really like to sleep so close to Dom as Dom is easily excited and when he is excited, he runs very fast and jumps a lot. It is nice to see them sleeping so close.

Sometimes Mr Stuffie Heart gets to lie beside Dom without getting squashed. One of those good days. Look.. Mr Stuffie Heart is smiling :) Have a good evening everyone. This has been quite a long post. I sure hope i have not bored you all silly.. hehhehehehehe :) Good night!

Bel far niente

The beauty of doing nothing. Bel far niente.

A week has gone by and we are going into the 2nd week of January 2012. We are still doing nothing much. We haven't caught up with most of you yet. Our apologies for the slack.

Before we carry on, we want to wish all of you a very Happy New Year. We hope the new year brings with it a lot of good in everything you need and enough for everyone to make it through a happy and healthy year.

We hope our buddy little Pip will get well soon too. You know Pip. The one with the big heart. The little guy is all heart. The sweetest fella around.

Get Well Soon Pip. We are still keeping all our toes, paws, fingers crossed for you.

My 2011 ended on a mellow note. I was sick with strep throat for the last two weeks of December. It was a pretty quiet end to my 2011 as i could hardly speak except for some squeaks. *LOL* Even swallowing my saliva was quite painful. It was a good way to quiet down and get some rest to end the year.

Being in Kuala Lumpur with family for Christmas, and most of the time in bed nursing the squeak was nice in a way. I did nothing. Just hanging around with Curly and Mr. P. They were my two nursing aides. I didn't have to go anywhere too.

Christmas came and went... Christmas tree was up and down. The one at home here was just taken down this afternoon. All packed and stored back.

Jaiboo didn't get to come home for Christmas and his 3rd birthday. Hopefully they can make the trip in February next month. Dad is still waiting patiently for the little guy to come back. Poor Jai was waiting for his grandpa to come for his birthday party last Sunday. He still doesn't understand that we are many many thousand miles away. We'll have another big party for him when they are home.

All Curly got for Christmas was a stuffie with a heart. Its still in very good condition. Curly is not a stuffie destroyer. He sleeps with it every single night. Hopefully this stuffie will help him with his separation anxiety issues.

 

Mr P got a stuffie for Christmas too. He has a collection of many stuffies now all over the floor. But he usually only likes his old old Pikachu. That is still his favourite and his best friend.

Christmas eve lunch with family. This year's chicken turned out better and prettier as i was not the cook. *LOL* We were lucky to have a close friend who didn't mind slaving in the kitchen to bring us a most wonderful lunch. He only comes by to cook every Christmas.

To some of you who were worried about Piper getting boxed up and shipped off... do not worry. He was just napping in the box. He was being boxed up too for some other reasons. That will be a story for another day. He seemed to love the box a lot. Maybe he does think that he is a kitteh kat.

I spent the 31st of December with my best buddies. We went for a huge dinner at some Thai restaurant in a very remote side of Jinjang. The food was really good but i didn't take much of it as my throat was still quite sore. I still sounded like some mouse with squeaks.

11 years ago, i spent my countdown with these same people. We were lucky to be able to gather again and enjoy some fireworks that night by the highway. All the cars just stopped on a busy highway and everyone got out of their cars to watch the fireworks when it was 12. It was insane.

Halfway through the fireworks, one of my friends showed us a picture on her mobile. Earlier that morning, she was at the hospital to do some tests. The doctor ordered a biopsy immediately when he saw the condition of the lump on her breast. She's has been diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer.

Her doctor told her that she's a wee bit late in coming for treatment. They cannot do surgery to remove the lump now. She has to starts chemotherapy next week. Her doctor told her that its not the end of the world. Her life has just begun.

She's an awfully healthy person. If you look at her, you will never know that she's sick. She works very hard and very very long hours ever since she was 19. She takes care of her family and all her siblings. I knew her when i was 20. She's one of my best buddies. We have been through many ups and downs together. We have done many silly things together too. She was the one that dropped everything and scooted off with me to Malacca on my birthday last year.

She's like my sister... my sibling. I can tell her many things and share many of my secrets. I trust her with my life as i know that she will never let me down. She has never let me down too. Whenever we asked for help, she's the first one who will drop everything and come.

Cancer is treatable these days if you are not too late. Chemotherapy is hell. Anyone who has gone through that will tell you so. Through it all, she is still trying to put up a brave front. She called and asked me about the chemo port. She asked me.. what the hell is that. Should i put it in?? We joked about the chemo port and wondered if it will work like the ipod. I hope it plays some good music.

We are in different cities. Still 2 hours apart. If i could only have one wish, i wish that she will be cured.

I am basically doing nothing. I am the master of doing nothing this week as i have not digested all the current news yet. My apologies for being away and very distant.

Lost For Words

Trying to sound positive is getting harder each time i lift up the phone to give my friend a call. Today she's having her second chemotherapy session. We laughed and joked a lot yesterday. She said she was checking into the hotel hospital hotel at 8am today. Chemo usually starts at 3pm for her. She said she'll give me a call when its done and if its better this time. I still have not got a call yet and its midnight now. Guess it didn't go too well today. I will have to wait till tomorrow to give her a call.

The first session went well. I had to tell her lies. Her husband and i have to tell her some lies. Many lies to get her to remain positive before the first session. She was scared to death and she was shivering. Up against the unknown. When she was done with that first session, she told me... you lied. You said its not going to be painful. Even though we both knew that it was going to be a rough journey ahead, sometimes we have to tell little white lies to get things going first.

I've known this friend for almost 20 years. A very long time. She used to sit behind me in college and used to ask me to draw for her sometimes. Sometimes she annoys me to the maximum with her constant noise but we always have good laughs. She almost got both of us drowned when we were at the waterfalls on one of our outings with the class. I knew how to swim but she did not. She just pulled me down when she panicked and tried to get air. Good thing someone pulled us to the side. Till today, she still laughed about how she almost got us both drowned.

She weaved in and out of my life through the 20 years of friendship. We can tell each other everything and we can be quite brutally frank about everything else. I've always asked her... do you want to hear the real thing or do you want me to cook up stories? Sometimes she prefers i cook up some stories when she cannot accept certain facts at that moment.

She called me last week while she was driving and on her way home to see her mom. She tells me of her hair that is thinning so much that her scalp is showing. She is too afraid to look at the mirror. I told her, all your hair will be gone by the 2nd or 3rd session. You will be bald. That's being quite brutally frank. She took it with a very very heavy heart. I said again.. Good News.. all your hair will be back.. much better looking after the 6th session. We could go out and check out some wigs. You can even be a blonde for a while. We both laughed.

Ever since her dad passed away, she went back every weekend to see her mom in Kampar. Each and every weekend, she drives home alone. A two hour drive that can sometimes go up to three or four hours if there's a public holiday. A most devoted daughter. I wouldn't be able to drive home every weekend if i was still working in Kuala Lumpur. It is most tiring to be doing it every week.

I have had an aunt and cousin who has gone through cancer and lost their battles midway. I know that some of you out there have won your battles against cancer. But it is never easy.

The side effects from chemotherapy can be quite bad for some. I just hope that she'll have a smoother road ahead. Two down and four more to go.

I told her, if anyone is going to beat this cancer, it will be you. If anyone can get through this chemotherapy, it will be you. I try to believe it myself too.

I am not lost for words. I am just lost in my thoughts lately. I have and need to just purge it out.

My apologies for not dropping by most of your blogs. Soon.. i'll send Dommy over soon... soonest he wakes up.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Week Later...

Its been a week since we last posted.. *LOL* We tried. We did try to post but soonest we did, we got sidetracked elsewhere. We have cut down on our cat watching :) Dom said that if i didn't post soon, he'll ignore me and won't let me rub his curly tummy. Hmmmm...

Last weekend was nice. A time to catch up with some folks and a time for the older folks to catch up with extended families. Since i am much of a lazy bugger lately, we'll post more pictures hopefully next Wednesday when we should be doing the Wordless :)

@ the gravesite

My ole car coughed its way to Lenggong... and brought us back safely. We just couldn't keep up with the Evo and the Civic. The X-trail was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ahead because the passengers had to be back to Kuala Lumpur in the afternoon. But we made it slowly... and surely.

Lenggong is still Lenggong. Very much the same as how i saw it when i was a kid. Its like a cowboy town with 2 rows of shops on the main street. The bus station is the same as how my grandpa had left it a very long time ago (Grandpa used to be the station master there). The freshwater fishballs (saito fishballs) are still the same. Just very expensive now for a tiny ball. But its super duper delicious and should not be missed if you ever make it here to Lenggong.

Not much going on there anymore as more and more young people have moved to bigger towns. But... they are building a big maternity hospital beside the big graveyard. How spooky can that be. Or maybe someone is pulling our legs about the hospital.

The road to Lenggong is not too windy now. There's a new highway that takes us there in half the time. My sister used to be sick in the car all the way to Lenggong. The trunk road is a super nice route to drive if you like the left and right and left and right driving. It used to be that windy all the way.

One of these days, I might just gather a few friends and drive all the way to Betung, Thailand. My uncle told me it only took him 3 hours to get there from Ipoh. But i drive like an old lady, so it might take us 4.

On our way back to Ipoh, we stop by another smaller town along the way. Sauk. This is where we had our lunch.. and the one hour wait for the food to be served is well worth it.

The famous freshwater fishballs... when you bite into it, the taste is divine.. *LOL*

Fish stomach cooked in garlic ginger sauce...

I don't remember if this was pork or chicken... but it was cooked in some sweet sauce ;)

The food pictures above are for my sisters to drool over. That's my wicked revenge to them for not making it home. WAHAHAHAHA... they sure know what they have missed now.

After they served the third dish, i dump the camera quickly and ate to my hearts content. The fishballs were flying off the plate in two blinks of an eye. *LOL* My aunt asked me, don't you want to take the rest of the dishes? No way... i am famished. I should have.. i know. The catfish was really big and fresh and deeeeeeeeelicious. But i was famished. Next time i'll try to have more control :)

Sunday evening i got a call from a close friend. She said that she has a watermelon in her that is growing too fast and she was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. Her fibroid grew too fast and too furiously. We talked and she was very worried. She kept asking me, how can this happen. The doctor said that he might need to remove her womb if its bad inside. Given a choice of having a child one day and saving your life now, you don't really have much of a choice when things like this happen.

Her surgery went well. She's still weak and can hardly speak. But she'll recover fast. She's a trooper. Her womb is saved.

Another very close friend called me on Tuesday to tell me her checkup was not good. She has multiple breast lumps and they have to be removed soon. A quick scan showed that she had multiple fibroids too. A double dose of trouble. A history of breast cancer running in the family is not a good thing too.

Sometimes we hope that things like this will not happen to us. We feel that it can only happen to other people but not us. But when it does, what do we do.

One day at a time. We go one day at time. Seize the day today. Carpe diem.