And when it rains...

Because of Georgia Lil Pea, i shall start blogging and bore all of you with very long boring blog posts again.

Blogger georgia little pea said...
Dear Anny, I'm pretty sure I saw a post on your dad on my GR yesterday or the day before. I didn't have time to read it because I was on my way to Brisbane. What happened? Did you delete it? Hope you're okay x
28 February, 2013 19:29

Blogger georgia little pea said...
ANNY, I'm feeling a bit twilight zone here. I don't see my comment, though you must have, because you wrote me. I guess you deleted it since it was Irrelevant to this post, which is fine.
I know I saw something else last night on my GR, in passing, and I don't see it here today. About your dad again. PLEASE! What is going on?! Am I nuts?
03 March, 2013 04:42

Thank you to The Typist for kicking my ass and getting me back to writing a very long post for you to read :) You've really thought i've conked right?

~ 19th Feb 2013
Here I am waiting for my train home. Another hour to burn. A macchiato maybe? Starbucks just 10 feet away. Starbucks is where we usually hang out for long catching up chats when i go to Kuala Lumpur. Hoity toity coffee. I could get a normal coffee for 1/10 of the price but we love to do the hoity toity coffee once in a while.

Its raining. The heavens weep. Or perhaps a good wash before they welcome another angel in their folds. She's on the way to Penang again for her final journey to the open seas.

She has finally left us. She passed away on Monday in her sleep. A peaceful death. I am glad. Glad.. happy.. that she does not need to suffer anymore. Her sufferings have finally ended.

Only her ashes came home to Kuala Lumpur in an urn for funeral rites. She was cremated in Penang and brought home on the day she passed away. Her father's wishes. He doesn't want the body to suffer anymore.

It is still Chinese New Year here in my country. CNY usually is about 15 days of celebration. Some people would not come for a funeral as its their beliefs. Some will fear bad luck if they visit a funeral during the CNY. Friends and family however will show up.

I have spent Monday in tears. I am all dried up yesterday. I know she would not want to see us cry. It will hurt her more to see us all in tears. I believe her spirit was with us that night. Even when we went out looking for vegetarian dishes for the prayer table. She was with us in the car directing us all the way like she always does. She was our human GPS. She knows the roads of Kuala Lumpur like the back of her hands.

Don't really know what the days ahead will be yet but I will try and make them remarkable. Time to mend some ties and its time to start keeping appearances with some people.

What makes her different from most of my friends? I have lots of friends but I choose to keep appearances with only a few.

I've known her for 20+ years. We practically spent most of our wild years doing nothing wild and have a good time. We have been through laughther, tears and mostly everything else. I was never angry with her.. not even once. I don't even remember both of us ever having a fight. She was like my soul sister. She trusts me with her secrets and I tell her most of mine. We know to call each other when we needed someone to talk to. We are always available for each other. Sometimes we spend hours and hours on the phone to catch up on lost time.

When she is sad, she always eats ice-cream. We've sat on kerbs outside 7-Eleven sharing a whole tub of ice-cream. It always makes her feel better.

3rd March 2013

She came into my life like instant coffee or instagram. She was instantly my friend. I liked her the first time we became friends. We had many adventures together doing stupid not too wild things. Usually we love to go on road trips and pig out. Sometimes with a whole bunch of people... and sometimes just the two of us when the rest didn't want to catch up. We could go anywhere together, and most of the time, she'll leave me alone to do my picture taking and sometimes she begged me to take her pictures. She doesn't understand why i rather take pictures of windows.. old buildings... or tiles.

I do have a lot of pictures of her. I am currently working on a photobook for her family. Her father misses her most. He could use some good memories of her. I don't know when i'll finish it. It is sometimes quite hard to do the photobook when my vision suddenly blurrs out when i remember how and when the picture was taken and what we did that day.

She has led quite an eventful life. She started working very hard when she left school. She started working 12 hr days and it went on to 16 hr days and sometimes at 12 midnight she'll call me and tell me that she's still waiting for materials to arrive. I do not know of anyone who has worked so hard from the beginning and never quite spend much on herself. She'll give and give it all away to her family... sometimes to friends and to whoever who asked. That's her.

Over the years, we have had other friends and other groups of people in our lives, but somehow we'll go back to this group of people we grew up with. She was with another close group of friends before she got sick. But somehow, she came back to us again. Somehow she was comfortable with us. We understand her from the beginning.

She only started being good to herself in the last three years. She started travelling abroad. She went from Dubai to London to Spain to the USA to Australia and to some Asian countries. She was finally happy and finally willing to spend some money on herself. I've always told her to go out there... spend some money. You have kept enough money, spend on yourself. Don't worry about taking care of other people, love yourself sometimes.

She's at the time of her life when she has made enough to lead a comfortable life but it has to be taken away from her in a most horrible way.

I knew her ending was near. I knew she was going to go. I sometimes pray that her ending will come fast and painless. There's no cure. It has gone too far. A miracle doesn't happen all the time.

We didn't make it for her last birthday. She managed to hold on till her birthday. Birthdays meant everything to her. She used to have a countdown... she'll have celebrations a few days before her birthday. All the way to her birthday. She was a Valentine girl.

Her family was with her. They did a recording of the birthday in the hospital. It was very sad to watch but she was happy that day. Very happy and she even manage to blow out the candles. 4 days after her birthday, she gave up. She passed away peacefully in her sleep with her sister sleeping beside her.

For the past 20+ years of my life... she has not missed texting or calling me at 12 midnight on each of my birthdays. Birthdays meant so much to her. She always try to make other people's birthdays special too.

Anybody can get cancer. Cancer cells are in all of us. It can happen anytime but being unhappy or being stressed could just bump up the speed more. Forgiveness is good. Being resentful or being angry over the littlest of things doesn't do any good to anyone.

I spend a day crying.. just sobbing away. Everything blurrs out. The tears just kept coming. Then i started stuffing myself with rice. I don't know why. That's how i deal with grieve. When mom passed away, i just kept eating and made sure everyone ate. Because life must go on no matter what.

We can blame everything on situations. We can blame it on other people. We can stop living and just keep crying day after day. We can stop working and just blame it on sadness. We can blame everyone and the death of a friend by not doing anything the whole day. But time will still tick and go on. We can take some time to grieve but life goes on in the most hardest way. It has to still go on.

I believe she is still with us in some moments of our lives. We carry her in our memories. I might not find such a wonderful friend again, but i still have Dom. He'll make sure i wake up and get up from bed. He'll make sure i eat and go for walks. He'll make sure to let me know i am loved.

I saw the tiniest orange butterfly in the kitchen the other day. I just hi to the butterfly and asked.. is it youuuuuuuuuuuuu. *LOL* Then i took its picture. A tiny grasshopper came to the kitchen yesterday while i was cooking. I asked again, is it youuuuuuuuuuuuuu again? Not very nice colors today. I assume the black and white bird in the garden is mum. I see it everywhere i go. My mom did mention to my nephew sometime back that when she passes, she wants to be a bird and just be free. It works and it keep and helps people like me move on.

My friend called herself Rain. It was from a very long time ago. Even before the South Korean singer named himself that. I had a good laugh over that and ask her why Rain?? She says its easy to remember and when it rains, people will think of me.

And now, when it rains, i will remember her.

A Long Winded Rant

In the still of the night... here i am... still awake. A few things to purge out again. Thoughts and so many thoughts. I find that writing about it helps. So its out in the open and out of my mind. Its also to keep my thoughts in writing, so that i can laugh at myself somewhere sometime next year perhaps.

My dad is getting old.. and more forgetful by the day. He had a minor accident three weeks back. He was driving and on his merry way to buy lunch and BOOM! A car did not stop at a junction and dad being on the main road could not stop in time. That BOOM left many cracks.

He was not injured. Just a bump on the head. A bit of a concussion. A bit of disorientation.

When he goes out, i am always concerned when i get a phone call from him. Either the car is stalled (its an old junk) or he's in trouble. The last time an old man on a bicycle with no lights hit him in the mornings, the old man was injured. Not too seriously but he was injured. He sent the old man to the hospital himself. Called me from the hospital and i rushed over. Even though it was not his fault, my dad slowed down and got scared of old people on bicycles.

This recent accident slowed him down even more. Now he is petrified of junctions. Even when i am driving (i am already driving like an old lady). He'll shout.. lookout.. don't go too fast.. slow down slow down. I can remain very calm in many situations. Its years of practise and years of keeping quiet in most situations.

Sometimes i hear a lot of noise. Some of it comes from my dad. Sometimes i tune out. Even in a busy restaurant, my mind tunes out. It is not very kind of me but sometimes my mind is so tired from all the noise.

My dad is a very very picky eater. He complains about everything. Probably he's bored. Probably he just wants to make conversation. If i go out to buy lunch, he'll complain about the food i bring back. He'll complain the dishes are not to his liking. He'll complain there's TOO MUCH RICE (this happens all the time). He'll complain that its too dry.. or the rice is too wet. I can never get it right. I rarely complain about the food that others buy for me. I am always thankful for a meal.

My dad's going thru a chicken rice phase. Everytime he goes out to buy lunch, he'll come back with chicken and rice. I can eat chicken rice everyday. Dommy loves the chicken too. Even when we go out to eat, he orders chicken rice. Mind boggling. He was not much of a chicken rice fan two years back.

Today my dad's car is done and ready. All the cracks fixed. My uncle took him to the workshop the last two times. I didn't go as i had to work and i had some other issues. Today i took him to take his car and we cannot find the shop because he forgot where it was. I made a call to the workshop and they gave me very clear directions. But my dad directed me somewhere else.. and told me to turn another way. Its there.. its behind there. I told him there's no road up ahead. But he insisted that the road was there. Unless i am driving a flying saucer or maybe a bicycle, i can go behind the shops with the road up front. I remain calm and called the workshop again. The workshop was calm enough to repeat the directions again.

This time i didn't listen to him and went on my way. He kept complaining that i am on the wrong road.. and my uncle did not take him on this road... all the way until we reach the workshop. I rest my case.

I remember 5 years ago, we were on this same road, he was in a very foul mood. Mom has just passed away. He was driving fast and faster... scolding all the way. I just closed my eyes and thought that i was going to die if we crashed. He was going so fast and not in the right frame of mind. Accidents happen when angry people drive too fast.

Taking care of my old dad sometimes makes me want to run away. Each time i go to Kuala Lumpur, i abandon everyone and run. I always run. I needed to get away before i cracked too. Maybe one day when i am older, i will regret all these running away. Maybe one day i will wished for more time and wish that my dad will complain more.

When he came home after the accident, he had a major outburst. He was shouting and scolding (not to me) but everyone. It was like a volcano erupted. My sister mentioned that a concussion could spark the outburst. Dom and i got out of his way and just hid in the room. He was angry. I tried to tell him to look at the good side of things. Always look for the better side of every situation. I told him, you are not injured. The car can be fixed. It just money. As long as you are not injured and no one else is killed, we are fine. My siblings who called got hell from him.

His friends called and told him worst case scenarios. I wish i could smack his friends there and then. They told him if he had gone faster and the car hit his car on the driver's side, he could have been injured seriously. When people are in accidents, you do not offer worst case scenarios. That's just so dumb. My dad had an awful night. Shivering and scared. He didn't drive for 2 days.

He's still scared of junctions now.

My new friends from the cattery asked me what am i scared of. They ask me if i am scared of my dad. I just smiled. I am not scared of my dad. Especially at my age, i am definitely not scared. I just do not want situations to be hurtful or stressed. I don't like to pick a fight. I rather keep quiet. Keeping quiet is the worst for anyone who knows what being ignored feels like.

I wish my dad would learn to be happier and not complain about everything and anything. I wish he will learn to be thankful for the little things in life. I wish that he'll learn to look at the brighter side of ever situation. I know its hard for old people to change. Situations have made them what they are today. Being the younger one, we probably just have to learn to accomodate or just run away once in a while.

On another note, my friend is now transfered to a hospital in Penang. She just had her whole breast removed. A doctor is willing to do the operation for her even though her cancer is already everywhere. Only the brain is not affected. She's bedridden, wears diapers and am on a lot of painkillers. Dignity all gone as her sisters have to change her diapers and clean her up.

I was in Kuala Lumpur to see her when she was admitted a forthnight ago. Even though the family preferred less visitors for her as her immune system is very low, we got to see her. They allowed us to spend the afternoon with her in her room. It was a great day. Between the 5 of us, we cracked some stupid jokes, made her laugh.. fed her food... and just be with her. She was very tired when we left. She was glad we all came. She smiled and she was happy.

Maybe if we are lucky, we'll get to see her again in 2 weeks time. Her birthday is in two weeks time. We'll get ourselves to Penang and make her laugh again at our stupid jokes.

After seeing all the suffering she has to go thru, i am thankful that i am able to lift my hands... easily. She is not able to. I am thankful that i can still skip when i walk. I am thankful for many things in my life. Even though dad is a complaining old man, i am thankful that i am able to take care of him.

I am thinking of a week long hiatus in May. Somewhere far away... somewhere i've always wanted to go.

Dogs are easier beings to live with. They don't make a lot of noise. Especially Dom, he's usually quiet unless he hears something/someone at the door. He's happy to just stay by my side when i work. He doesn't complain at all. He's always happy to go for a walk. He's always happy when he gets food.

Dom is getting old too. Still a curly wurly. But still have the heart of a little puppy. Always curious and always skipping and jumping. He forgets he's old.

With that, i end my rant for today. *LOL* Thank you for reading :) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ

A New Chapter... Perhaps

Its 2013. Just saw some fireworks far away from outside my sister's house... and i went YAY YAY YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY.. Fireworks always makes me happy. The simpliest of things that costs a bundle to burn that usually brings smiles to many.

A time to reflect on a year gone by... a year that went by too fast for me and too slow for the suffering and the sick.

Exactly a year ago at this same day, we were parked triple park on a busy highway.. watching fireworks with my closest friends. The same day that my closest friend show us a picture of the thing that screwed up her entire 2012. She's still with us... a bag of bones. Hardly even half of what she used to be. But she made it to 2013.

Because of her, i stopped and finally worked on what i liked and what i loved. I stopped worrying about what people would think and build up more courage to fight for myself. Its been quite a hard year for my colleagues to work with me because i did not gave in to silly beings anymore. I stopped keeping appearances with people that i don't want to see too. Its been a year of reflection and it is also my most fruitful year. A year of being able to use my skills and time to help others. Though i am not getting any richer in assets and $$$... my heart is finally full.

I've been away from home since 13th December. Been in Kuala Lumpur to be with Piper while his mommy and daddy took Grandpa to see Sarubobo. Days of spending time with just Piper and Dom and having conversations only with animals.. *LOL* Days of picking poo and still picking poo. Why do two dogs have so much to poo. Its been a good holiday so far.

Met up with one of my blogger friend again yesterday afternoon. Its been nice to see Nessa and her hubby again after one year. They have both had a very fruitful year... and both have become crazy running fanatics now. They are leading healthier lives. Both just grin non stop the whole time. Nessa has taught me that anything is possible if you work really hard at it.

One of the highlights of this trip is going for the Big Bad Wolf book sale. Every year i seem to miss it but finally made it this year with my niece. Bought a boxful of books which will keep me occupied for a whole year. I am a hoarder of books. :)

What would 2013 be like? I do not know yet... but i will work harder at being a better human. I got tons of ideas "ruining" my head. Purging it one by one would be a problem as i do not know where to start.

Its going to be a good year.

For the sick and the suffering, i wish for them less pain and a peaceful heart.
For the ones that have too much and am still not happy, kick yourself in the butt and get happy.

Time is a priceless commodity. Just make sure the moments count. Nothing else matters much.

I've been spending a few afternoons with my friend at the clinic while she is having her treatment. I do not know if this treatment will help her in any way as the cancer has gone too far. Each day i do not know what to expect when i see her. But knowing that the power of touch helps her in some way, that is the only thing i know how to do. I can only hold her hand and put on my calmest face and tell her its going to be alright. Her screams of pain when the needles go in, what do i know of her pain.

She tells me she is very scared. Her heart beats very fast. Her mind goes wild at night. She cannot sleep much. Her voice is almost like a whisper as she is breathless and too weak even to form some words. We manage to sign and understand each other.

Support for the dying is very important. They fear death and who doesn't. Even if i tell you i don't fear death, i would be telling you a very big lie. I will fear pain and i will fear being alone if i am dying and on death bed.

We begin to question God... why do you let someone be in so much pain? Why do you not take her home quick? Is it the burdens she has to bear for all that she has done. Forgive her sins and just take her home. And perhaps God will answer... so now you believe in me?

I am not a very religious person. I don't go to church to pray and neither do i go to the temple. I have conversations with the man up there sometimes in my mind. I feel overwhelmed in churches. The songs make me cry sometimes. Maybe my tears are just too much and they have no where to go.

We do not know what tomorrow brings but the sun will still shine and everything will be alright. A Happy New Year to all of you... and May the New Year brings with it loads of goodness to each and everyone of you. To my dearest friend Kristin and Pip... May the new year be kinder to you both. Hang in there lil Pip. I do not know when i'll get to all of your blogs... but slowly and surely i will. Thank you all for your friendship and your kind words.

P/S: This is a pictureless post as i am just too lazy to hook up the wires and download the pictures i took of Mr P and Dommy. Perhaps... on the next post.

Everywhere but here...

I am everywhere but here. I have put off writing a post here many times because i feel that if i write something, it will be soppy. Yes.. this is soppy.

Just want to purge it all out anyways and get it out of the way. Some of my sadness for these past few days.. weeks.. months. Its been almost a year. I used to walk with a skip like a kid.. i am happy most days of my life. Life is simple. I don't really ask for much. I lost my skip this year.

When i think of my good buddy, tears just fall when i think of how brave she still is. I can sit here working and tears just fall and i am so overwhelmed with sadness. I stopped keeping appearances everywhere except the shelter. I am at peace there.

My buddy is seeking treatment for her cancer in Bangkok. Even though the chances are very slim, we still push her to go. Its better than doing nothing and waiting at home to die. Two oncologists in Kuala Lumpur has given her the Stage 4 notice. Chemotherapy at this stage of cancer is probably more pain than anything else. Its not an option she wanted to go through with.

So off she went to Bangkok beginning of November. With just whatsapp to keep us in the loop, we can sense her sadness to be away from home and to be away from family. Either that or just wait at home to die. So we went to see her.

She went to see a very old doctor in his 90s in Bangkok. He treats a lot of cancer patients quite successfully. But when he saw my friend, he just told her... be happy. Don't do chemo anymore. He told her he could not help her.

She is a very stubborn person. To deny herself of treatment earlier when things could have worked out better is very stupid. She has her reasons and i still do not understand why she would allow herself to rot this way.

What i expected to see is way beyond what i thought it would be. Its a lot worse. It is even painful to look. Her breasts has rotted and pus and blood is leaking all the time. An open wound so bad that its shocking to someone like me.

We just hang out at the hotel when there's no treatment days. We cook.. eat and laughed and talked about stupid things as usual. If you looked at her, you would not think she has a very very bad sore on her. She looked perky and happy in front of us. A brave front as she always does in front of us. When the pain comes, the tears just flows. She doesn't scream or cry out loud. She just bears with it quietly.

The only places we went to in Bangkok is the supermarket, the 7-eleven and the pharmacy. We didn't really want to be anywhere else but to be with her. Putting on a happy face and smiling in front of her is quite hard. I finally broke down on the last night before we came home. I told her i would not cry in front of her but i did.

She is one of my best buddy through all my silly years. We did a lot of silly things.. dancing, singing, eating and just travelling. We also ate a lot of crabs together. She is my ever willing travel partner too. She never say no to any of my request to see or do things. That's how she is.

Her days are quite numbered. I know the end will be very painful and heartbreaking. I just want her to get home to her family and be happy on her days of grace. I wish for her less pain everyday.

When you have cancer at this late stage, everyone is expecting you to die soon. Even though you don't want to die yet, everyone is wondering when you will go. People taking care of you will wonder when you'll go too when they get too tired of taking care of you and meeting your demands. Its heartbreaking but that's how it is. People want to get on with their own lives.

Maybe she'll live a few years more or she might just outlive me. Who knows. Maybe the treatment she is doing now.. works for her. She'll get another few more years. Who knows.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

I have failed as a friend. Especially a good friend, i did not get her to help herself when she could. Now its probably too late.

A note to GLP's mommy: Thank you so much for the bonfim ribbons. She is carrying a blue one on her wrist now. I don't know if it will work but it did give her some hope. She made 3 wishes too. She has asked me to thank you.

Make hay while the sun shines

My boss told me that we have to make hay while the sun shines. Make Hay.. Make Hay he says. Usually he doesn't come up with such phrases. He's usually a yes.. no.. k... go ahead kinda guy. So i ask for some hay. That made him laugh but he did send me some hay.

Summer holidays are almost over but we didn't seem to have our lull period this year. We had Myanmar... and we have a lot of things to do with Myanmar.

With the extra hay, i sent my dad and nephew off to Krabi for a short holiday. A 20 and a 70+ year old man. What could possibly go wrong in Krabi? Its just a collection of islands. For starters.. they almost missed their flight as the checking in queue became too long when they spent too much time having lunch at McDs.. *LOL* But it went smoothly after that. They even got to go to Nosey Parker for elephant rides thru the jungle. My dad have never sat on an elephant before so he had a good time i think.

I had a great time when i was in Krabi with my lover urmm friend. We went on motorcycle rides without helmets and went everywhere without a care in the world. It was a very happy time and we almost missed our flight out too. We were staying 2 islands away from the airport and the ferry wait was horrendous. But Ko Lanta was beautiful. It was memorable to just be... there.

We (my siblings and i) sometimes become overly protective of my dad. I do not allow my dad to drive at night as his eyesight is not too great on one eye. I drive him to church on Saturdays. But other than that, i don't really do everything for him. Sometimes he just gets lazy and be with his ipad for many hours a day and keeps sighing and sighing.. he's bored.. hahahhahaha. When my mom was around, these two siamese twins will go everywhere together. If you see one, you'll see the other.

When we go on holidays, we would prefer that people do not call us. I didn't call them at all. If they are in trouble, they will call me. I am sometimes overly confident that they will be okay. On the other hand, my eldest sister insist on calling all the time. She even called me from Hong Kong Disneyland to complain about dad. *LOL* I told her to put down the damn phone and go enjoy Disney. Crazy.. yes.. i have quite a circus in the family.

I stay with my dad with Dommy and some strange cats at the porch. Boy comes back during his semester breaks. Its a strange arrangement but i seem to be the most convenient one to take care of my old man. Dad doesn't really need taking care of. He's usually up and about by 6.30am and off to meet his friends at the park. As long as he is happy (and just a tad bored), i guess we'll just keep on staying here till we find new adventures.

My mom passed away 5 years ago. I spent the first 3 years grieving and just blanked out. Each day i had to deal with a very angry dad who compares my cooking with mom's. He pushes so much that sometimes i just cry and cry at night. Most of the time i was just crying because i missed my mom. After 3 years i discovered the tv again. It became a place to just numb the weariness of the day away.

This year, i realised that i was watching too much tv and just not doing anything productive with myself. I do know how to do a lot of things but i don't do it because i am lazy. After one of those days when too much cat watching got me into trouble again with dad, i went to seek shelter.

I've always have a very close unit of friends and colleagues. I missed them all the time as they are in another town and state. My colleagues were like my sisters. The longest hours of my life used to be when i am in the office. We laughed and joked and did all the stupid things. We bitched too but when one is in trouble, we always get together to help out. When mom passed away, the whole group of them came all the way in a taxi to just see my mom and me. They being here with me touched me deeply.

I found my shelter in the arms of some furries. While i am not doing that much to help them, they have in turn helped me a lot by making me smile more and be happy. I made quite a lot of new friends too. Some old, some young and quite a funny mixture of people. I am practically the kid in the group.

On Sunday mornings, i sneak off to the shelter and help them take photographs of the shelter cats to post them on facebook. I've always loved how HeARTs Speak helps the shelters by using photos and art to effect social change. I am not as good as the photographers in HeARTs Speak but practise makes perfect. I'll get there some day.

A picture can speak a thousand words. A good picture of my furry friends can up their chances of getting adopted. Taking pictures of cats is quite easy as some of them loved to pose and they don't really move much. You just got to sit with them for a few hours.. play with them.. connect and you become part of them. Usually i shoot blind as i want to connect by looking at them... they look back and i get a good head shot. I've never really seen so many different types of cats in one place. They are so beautiful and each have their own special traits.

Usually i'll take a few hundred pictures on a Sunday and post their pictures on the days that follow till i get to Sunday again. They i go seek my shelter again. Sometimes its about me needing them more than they needed me. They helped me find my balance... somehow.

Some of the furries have become my friends and most of them will just wait their turn to jump on my lap. Its heartwarming and fulfilling. Some of them have been in the shelter for a long time. Our shelter in Ipoh is a no-kill shelter. That also means that we have to go the extra mile to get some adopted so that there will never be overcrowding.

I do not know if you'll be able to view this short movie above (which is a mighty big file). They are of some of my friends at the shelter.

On another note, i went to see my friend last weekend in Kuala Lumpur. She still have not decided to go for the mastectomy yet. She'll probably live longer than me perhaps or go out with a bang. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But its her life and if she chooses to go this way, we as friends will support her and try to be happy when we are with her. I would have liked to just club her and dragged her off to the hospital to get the tumour out but the laws do not allow me to do such foolish things. A person still has the right to choose how he/she wants to live.

We had a good weekend just laughing about stupid things. We talked about crap and crapping. Laughed about dumbness and how dumbness do not solve problems but it was a good weekend. Here's my friend again. Her hair has grown. Her short crop is quite nice. The other girl is my good buddy too. Can you see me... ? I'm the one in the middle with the camera *LOL*

My poor Dommy has been so patient with me and with my unfaithfulness. When i come back from the shelter, he's usually so happy he'll do leaps on his thin legs. Why we should always adopt and give a chance to older dogs/cats to have a forever home. Rescued dogs and cats will come with a history but most of them are grateful. They are grateful for a warm meal, a warm bed and someone to love.

When i was growing up with asthma, i was not allowed to touch or go near animals with furs. My dad still am afraid of me spending most of my time with Dom. Dom is furry.. hehehehehe He'll probably have a fit if he knows i am at the shelter with so many cats. Sometimes we are too afraid to die we forget to live.

Whatever we do, i guess the most important thing is making the moment count. Just be with the people and furries that makes you happy. Everyday is a bonus.

Trying to Keep Up Appearances

19 days 40 days and nights into 2012 and we are still being lazy struggling here *LOL* We have a feeling that 2012 seems to be on a fast forward button somehow. Don't you think so? I think i started this post few weeks back and forgot all about it. Like how i forget that sometimes i have a blog and another blog and a few other blogs. *LOL* I was just a kidding about them many many blogs.

We have been very bad at keeping up appearances here and way over yonder too. We have run out of any valid excuses really :) Nothing much happening over our side of the world really... except for... urmmm... this is one of those loooooooooooooooooooooooong posts... i get a little long winded when its late at night.

The Curly is just sleeping quite a lot. Most of the time he is under the bed where its cooler.

Can you see Curly? I am sure there's a Curly there. Its dark but Curly.

Here... try again. Do you see a Curly? i know there's one. Send everyone a woof will ya Dommy.

WOOOOoooooOOOOOoooFF!!

Told ya there's a Curly there in the dark :)

The Chinese New Year "heat" has decended upon us in leaps and bundles and buckets and and and.... Its warm warm and very very warm every other day. We only had a wee bit of rain sometimes in the evenings. We sure hope some places don't start burning and send us their smokes. Last year we had it really bad. The heat and them smokes and everyone i know was trying to do a raindance.

Well.. Chinese New Year's over and out. We were on the road.. and with family for a whole week in Kuala Lumpur. My backpack is still on the floor from the last trip. We did a lot of gambling and some eating and lots of laugher. We are going to be on the road again in 2 weeks time when the Jaiboo comes home. He didn't make it home for Christmas. So he's rescheduled to February end. Its only February and we seem to be going up and down a lot lately.

When we were in Kuala Lumpur, we were at a new place where dogs can run freeeeeeeeeeeee. Dom was super excited and sniffing everywhere and anywhere. He had his walks without leashes and he was just trotting happily without all the pulling and tugging by me. I am a slow walker while he trots likes a horse. It was freedom for him and we had many many walks everyday. That's probably how we spend our Chinese New Year. He lost some flab and drank a lot of water and slept like a log each and every night. I however got a bit darker too from all the walks in the sun.

We were so free and happy that we didn't take any pictures. *LOL* Our hands were not holding any cameras or mobiles and we were just enjoying our time together. There was no internet and there was no reason to keep the computer on.

Dom made friends with a dotted dog. He's dotted like a dalmation but a lot shorter than one. He has perky ears and a very happy smile and a non-stop wagging tail. They played and jumped and played non-stop. Yes... i didn't have a camera or a mobile. A very friendly dog which was walking alone without a leash too. It was like probably how doggy heaven would be i suppose. Where the dogs run free and played all day. Maybe we'll see him again next time.

Now we are back to the grind. I am actually quite overloaded with work since January. With too many holidays overlapping over the weekends, i began to dread holidays. When you come back from a holiday and fire up your computer, the emails all just choked up. Its like a traffic jam in the email box. Don't we all hate traffic jams. And you get cc'ed in every other mail.

We got new systems from the office. Here's me trying to setup my new computer beside the old one. I kept clickling the wrong mouse :p I love new systems but i hate fine tuning it to what works for me. I hate to do the transfers and now that we work from home, we got to setup all the things ourselves. We used to be pampered by the IT guy. He usually does all the setup for us. We just shake our legs and grin. That's not really a good idea as we become too dependent on others to get the job done when we can do it ourselves.

When i work on the computer, i am usually very quiet. Even when i was working in the office. Sometimes i have discussions with a few of my colleagues on the chats or on a call with my colleagues. Sometimes its a typing marathon on the chats with my boss or my superiors. My dad will whizz pass my window. Then he will whizz back and ask me some questions. Then he'll go out and ask me a question from the hall which i can hardly hear. *LOL* My dad is lonely sometimes. He needs the attention. He probably thinks that i am on facebook or surfing the internet.

Working from home does not mean that i can run out and play all the time. I can run out with Dom to the garden for his breaktime. I can run out to hang the laundry and i can run out to get lunch. But I have people to answer to and i have people who ask me too many questions a day at work. Some of these questions are too silly as i believe that some people do not want to think. They want the easy way out of things and just ask you to give them the answer to solve the problem. Some are not problem solvers and some just need to be spoon fed year after year.

The year of the Dragon actually starts on 4th February 2012, the first day of the Chinese Solar. This day is also called Lap Chun meaning “beginning of spring” in Chinese. On Lap Chun day, eggs can stand on their own two feet the floor or table. Hence the many pictures of the eggs standing prettily up there. I didn't flip some of the pictures as i feel they look pretty awesome on the sides :D Its something to do with gravity and.. urmm... go google it yeh :)

This is the only picture of i took of Chinese New Year decorations. Its a lighted tree at the Curve, a shopping mall in Kuala Lumpur. I sneaked my friend out and took her to eat. We were walking up and down there and didn't know what to eat. In the end she told me... you know what i really really want to eat. I want to eat maggi mee. Maggi mee is instant noodles. It is something which she can eat at home but not allowed by her mom. It cooks in just two or three minutes.

Her mom has changed her diet completely. She's on a strict healthy juicing vegetarian diet. Since she started chemo, her whole eating regime is being managed by her family. She is a person who loves to eat. We always love to eat all the unhealthy things. But now, she has to follow the diet to save herself.

She went for her 2nd chemo last week. She has lost all her hair and her brother just shaved her head clean yesterday. She's still very postive but bored at home. She can't drive much now as she's on some oral chemo too. She told me that her whole world is spinning almost everyday. Dizzy especially after her chemo sessions. Even a few days after chemo, she is still holding her head in her hands.

4 more chemo sessions to go and hopefully they can do the surgery and radiotherapy after that. Still a long way to go but we are very hopeful and she is still fighting on. A fighter. I am proud of her. And yes, we went to the shops and i let her eat her Maggi mee. She is now waiting for me to come down again to take her to eat Maggi mee again. If her mom knows, i am dead.

These two hardly sleep so close together. Dom needs to be constantly near me or he needs to be within eye view of me. Piper does not really like to sleep so close to Dom as Dom is easily excited and when he is excited, he runs very fast and jumps a lot. It is nice to see them sleeping so close.

Sometimes Mr Stuffie Heart gets to lie beside Dom without getting squashed. One of those good days. Look.. Mr Stuffie Heart is smiling :) Have a good evening everyone. This has been quite a long post. I sure hope i have not bored you all silly.. hehhehehehehe :) Good night!

A Case of Too Many Eggs

A very strange day today. We got up very early today as its Tuesday. It is strangely very dark. My dad gave me a holler from the porch and ask me to off the porch lights while giving me an earful about wasting electricity before he left for his morning walks. I didn't hear much of what he said as i was half awake. But it was strangely very dark at 7am. I was waiting for Aini. Even by 7.30 am, we still have the lights on in the whole house. Good thing my dad was not back yet.. else...

Dommy and i went for a long walk to check out his peemails. He left a lot of them along the way for his friends. We met up with Joejer. Poor lil fella is having very bad arthritis. Some mornings, he cannot go for his walks anymore. For a tiny fella, he is still full of life. Very old. His eyes are all cloudy whitish grey. Cataract. He is one of Dommy's friends here. They both greet each other happily each time they meet. Even if they meet 2 or 3 times along the way, same enthusiasm like they have not met for a very long time. In actual fact, they did meet about a few minutes ago on another lane.

A lot of clouds... a little bit of a drizzle today. Not too warm but smoky air... something somewhere must be burning.

We have a bit of a lull at work today. Off we went to play catchup with some of our fellow bloggers. We have missed a lot of posts. Catching up on the reading.

We got to Georgia Lil Pea's blog. This doggie and her typist always makes us laugh. She is becoming such a good girl lately. If you have not met GLP yet, you should stop by and check her out.

Her Typist has quite a big influence on me sometimes. A picture of a pan of eggs on her post today got me frying eggs for lunch. *LOL* A mere coincidence actually. Dad was out with his friend. And when he is out, i usually get a bit lazy and opt for an easy lunch. When he is around, he usually MUST HAVE rice for lunch. And he must have lunch before 1pm else he'll kick a fuss. Usually we get a takeaway. Chicken rice or rice with dishes. Its easy. I don't cook lunch. I only do dinners.

The thing with them eggs is... we have a lot of eggs. Almost a dozen and a half of eggs from December. Before we left for our holidays, we bought too many eggs as i wanted to do some cakes for Christmas with my niece. But as work got piled up last minute before the shutdown, all the eggs were left unattended and forgotten till we came home. Poor girl was waiting for me to bake with her.

Transformer Tabby

Ever since we came home, my dad's been asking me every other day... are the eggs still okay? Can we still eat them... can we can we can we... Everyday he asks me the same questions for a whole week. Finally today... i took a few eggs out.. and make a hugeeeeeeeee omelette. They were still okay :) Since i got too ambitious and broke too many eggs, we all had some eggs. I had mine with bread. Dom has his with his kibs. Even the cats in the garden had some too with their kitteh kat kibs. Everyone was feeling a bit eggy after that. Transformer Tabby seems to love eggs. Charlie Chaps doesn't quite like eggs.

Charlie Chaps

My dad went out in the afternoon and came back with... yes.. you guessed it right. Another 10 new eggs. He told me he don't wanna eat the old eggs as he says they might already have gone bad. *burp* We (Dommy, me and them kitteh kats) were secretly burping eggs. We only have 5 more old eggs. From the chicken to the stores, how long can eggs stay fresh before they expired and go runny?

Dad has gone kapoots now. He is watching his favourite show on TV. Just for Laughs, GAGS. He is crazy about the show. Sometimes he laughs so loud i can even hear him from back here. Like this one below.



This show put him in a very good mood everytime.

We went to the vet in Kuala Lumpur in December to let him check on Dom since we are there. They took some blood from him and the results were good. He was due for a blood test in December. We decided to do it with the vet in Kuala Lumpur as he is better at getting a sample and he is quick. Dom is  doing well so far and the thyroid medicine is helping him. He looks good today. We are most grateful to the vet for saving his life back in August.

Sometimes when he sleeps, he shudders and twitch. Sometimes he breathes rapidly for a moment. I stop to watch him for a while. Like an old machine, it has some jerks.

I am back into the drill of things. With Chinese New Year less than two weeks away, some work has to be done quickly. We will be on the road again next week to Kuala Lumpur to be with family for the celebrations. And there's some cakes that need to be baked. Hopefully i can get it done this time else i'll end up with too many sticks of butter in the freezer.

Chinese New Year is a bit quiet now that my mom is no longer around. We still have our reunion dinners with my siblings. Usually we eat out at some chinese restaurants. Mom used to cook all these dishes. I miss those. She was a very very good cook.

My friend checks into the hospital tomorrow to get her chemo port fixed on her chest. She has to stay a night and her chemotherapy will begin on Thursday. We had a long chat yesterday. Usually we'll call each other for updates when it is almost time to sleep. We had some laughs over old stuffs. She is afraid. I would be too.

We are hoping for some miracles. Some divine intervention perhaps. Believing in miracles give people hope. We are hopeful she'll be well again soon. One day at a time. She's lucky to have her whole family beside her. Their support will be most important in her recovery. We want to thank all of you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. She is lucky to have all of you who keep her in your prayers. You are all very kind people to be praying for a total stranger. The bloggieworld is indeed a very kind kind circle of friends. Thank you so much for your kindness.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all

And sweetest in the Gale is heard

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm

I've heard it in the chillest land

And on the strangest Sea

Yet, never, in Extremity,

It asked a crumb of Me.

~ Emily Dickinson